Are there
resources for asexuals and aromantics that try to explain what sexual and
romantic attraction are like? Or any people who experience either that are
willing to try to explain?
(Warning
for bewildered rambling that may be disrespectful of queer individuals. I think
I don’t understand sexuality on a pretty basic level, so my questions are
probably ignorant and maybe rude.)
Like, I
don’t really understand what makes a person NOT pansexual? Why are you
attracted to one gender and not another? Is it appearance? If it is, why do you
STOP feeling attraction when you find out that someone who looks like the
subset of people you are attracted to isn’t actually part of that subset? Or do
you? Like, if the attractive guy is actually a lady (or non-binary), are you
less attracted suddenly? What if someone is bigender? I mean, they’re the SAME
PERSON?! But do you feel different when they feel a different gender?
And, I’m
really embarrassed to admit this, but I totally thought attraction must be
based on what private parts you preferred having sex with until recently.
Because I can NOT figure out why looking at a person would lead to a desire to
have sex or be romantic with them? I assumed it MUST have something to do with the type of sex you were hard-wired to enjoy. I only have an aesthetic appreciation for
people (with isn’t really based on their gender, I often think that someone
looks cool in a similar way to a building that I really like, or a mountain). And I slightly
prefer the idea of sex if the other person has a penis? It seems less icky??
But how are sex and gender and appearance and everything related?
I realize
that sexual identity isn’t related to the privates of the person someone is
attracted to now. I’m just not sure what it IS related to.
What makes
someone attractive? What makes someone not? I get that some people are more
attractive than other people. But if someone is physically attractive to you,
why does it matter what their gender is? Why do so many people’s pool of sexually
and/or romantically attractive people restricted to one gender?
HOW DOES
ATTRACTION WORK!?!
I’m so
aromantic and asexual. -cries-
kiragecko 