Tag: icky kissing

hubby just told me that my anxiety has been making him feel on edge because he never knows what he might say that’ll set me off so now he’s just going to tell e when it’s starting to get to that point, but he doesn’t want me to bottle it (more than I have been) so that he can get some time alone from my anxiety and now I’m super depressed. Like, nothing is making me actually feel happy and I don’t know what to do and thought that maybe you could help? ='( I don’t know what to do…. I’m trying..

thededfa:

First off, I’m not a professional or anything so I don’t know how much I can help. Communication in a relationship is always important, whether it’s asking for space or letting someone know how they’re making you feel. Beyond that I don’t know what to say. My relationship isn’t what you’d call the healthiest so I don’t have a lot of advice or experience. Maybe find a friend to talk to or go ahead and message me.
I’m not the best at talking but I’m always willing to listen. I hope you start feeling better and can work things out for the best

From my experience, this is actually a really good sign. But yeah, its really hard to hear.

My husband and I have worked our way through similar situations.

Things that I’ve done to help both of us:

  • try to convince yourself that giving him breaks is a way to support him, like he’s supported you so much. Your chance to give back!
  • try to schedule something moderately big for him, once a month. A weekend at a cabin, a D&D session with friends – something fun he can do without you. Let him recharge regularly, so he won’t have to be asking for them from you as often, and leaving both of you feeling guilty.
  • Take something for yourself, as well. Even if you don’t particularly feel like it. He’ll probably feel really relieved that you’re taking care of yourself, and not relying solely on him. And it can really lift your mood. (Try to go out unless it makes you feel like having a panic attack. If so, a quiet alone thing might be better.)
  • Every once in a while, take some time to mentally prepare yourself. Than ask him about what’s bothering him. Make it clear that this is a time where he can talk about himself and you’ll do your best to listen and not respond badly. You feel so much stronger when you are helping sometimes, instead of always relying on support. Plus, it may make you closer. It can be hard, though, so don’t get discouraged. He might be uncomfortable talking about emotions.
  • If he’s in a relationship with you, there’s a good chance he LIKES being supportive. My husband feels like a white knight rushing to the rescue. It’s hard not to feel guilty, but even though he needs breaks, he may not feel all the negative emotions you’re imagining. When you’re in a more stable place, talk to him about it.

I’ve felt so terrible about this exact thing, anon. But, in the end, it was actually really healthy. We were building a relationship that could support itself. 

zahri-melitor replied to your post:
Batfamily Fanfic Retrospective!

I just pulled up some of my old links to look for you, but honestly? What @olderthannetfic said goes. Early 2000s stuff is going to be shippy, frequently VERY dark, and I think you’re underestimating the amount of emotional labour you’re requesting for people to tag up fics they may not have read in 15 years. I can look at a summary from back then and go ‘I liked this one’ – I wouldn’t be able to tell you what might be a trigger in it without rereading because warnings were different back then.

@zahri-melitor

I do recognize some of this. 

I think I assumed that there would be enough people like me – who have difficulty NOT rereading all their favourite fic whenever they see them and keep copies in a dedicated folder on their computer – that the tagging wouldn’t be as big of a challenge.

I knew that Dick not having sex with either of his youngest brothers or his father was going to be a challenge – The Batfam is small and shippers ship what’s available.

But I’m not sure I realized that the Batfam was really dark before I found it. The same period of X-Men fic (or at least the ones I exposed myself to) tended to be quite bright and fun. And other than Te and Lectorel (who are wonderful and horrifying), the Batfam were angsty but hopeful in most of the stuff I found in 2010. Perhaps it’s just who you hang out with, or perhaps that’s why I didn’t find a lot of non-Tumblr Batfam stuff when I first got interested.

Anyways, thanks for looking! I really appreciate it. If you did want to submit something, all I really need is no kids dying and no Batman/Robin or Dick/Robin sex. (Dick/Jason is fine.) But I recognize that I am asking a lot. Asking for tags always is.

If not, thanks again for looking, and for taking the time to reply.

The five types of canon.

saucefactory:

Canon: What actually happened.

Headcanon: What you think happened, based on the characters, settings, storylines and all reasonable extrapolations thereof.

Heartcanon: What you feel ought to have happened, quite divorced from rationality or sense.

Soulcanon: What you know happened, deep down in your soul, regardless of what anyone says. Including the creators of canon, themselves.

Crotchcanon: What your gonads wish had happened, or, alternatively, what turns you on.

My 8 year old just thought of an interesting plot idea. He asked me, 

“Mama, is there anywhere on the internet where there’s a character who is in love with the narrator?”

I can’t think of a single example! Anyone know of any? Or interested in writing this? 

I’d love to read examples (that are appropriate to eight year olds) to him.

cryptmutt:

god, imagine sharing a bed with the person you love. chatting about dumb things! just sleeping! it’s like a sleepover but every night how sweet is that!!!!

It’s wonderful! Last night we:

  • talked about our next date night, and decided that going to Second Cup (Canadian coffee chain) to hang out was more fun than sexy times
  • told each other to stop talking so we could sleep
  • made sure there was a wall of pillows between us so that he couldn’t touch or breath on me
  • told each other we loved each other multiple time, because we were too tired for complex conversation, but wanted to talk
  • I reclaimed the duvet from him multiple times, because he’s stronger than me when we’re sleeping
  • I patted his head, and he snaked his arm through my pillow wall to hold my hip

I love being with with him so much.

coffeebisexual:

jewishcap:

skywalker-anakin:

jewishcap:

THE PERSON I HOOK UP WITH RECOGNIZED MY FIC AS MINE AS THEY READ IT BECAUSE THE SEX IN IT REMINDED THEM TOO MUCH OF THE SEX WE’VE HAD………. I WANT TO DIE……………….

this deadass sounds like a fic plot

it’s not my FAULT

NATHANIEL I CANNOT BELIEVE

[Images are two screencaps of text conversations. Grammar and punctuation added for legibility.

First one:

Hook Up: “Okay here’s the funny part: I realized it was you because of the smut.”

Jewish Cap: “Oh NO.”

Hook Up: “An overwhelming experience, TBH.”

Second conversation:

Hook Up: You lifted a scene straight out of our sex life, made the feelings More Fucked Up, and then wrote it to the tune of Supernatural fanfiction.

 “That is not to say that it isn’t an excellent fic!!! It was really very good.“

Jewish Cap: “Does it make it better or worse that it was completely unintentional?”

Hook Up: “Nathaniel, I cannot believe.”

End ID.]

castlesbyrs:

gaygothur:

You know those movies about those little nerd boys who get with really hot girls, and those girls eventually learn to settle for a little nerd boy because he’s kinda nice sometimes? Propaganda.

You know those movies and shows where the little nerd girl has to change absolutely every aspect that makes her, her, starting by her appearance, so she can get the really hot boy, while when it’s the other way around the girl just settles with the nerd boy? Propaganda.

So I fit a lot of the stereotypes of the hot manic pixie dream girl. As a teen/young adult, I had the figure. The quirky behaviour. The tendency to cheer guys on and help them reach their goals. 

(I once got to go the a national tournament after I spent an entire morning sitting with a guy who’d completely given up on his robotics project. I had a few ideas, but mostly I just radiated support and positivity. He ended up winning provincial, so off we went!)

I ended up with a total nerd.

Those movies are complete crap.

MY nerd? He spent two years patiently helping me through my rejection issues. (And the rest of our lives – patiently helping me through my rejection issues.) He’s an anchor when the manic shifts to depressed and I get lost. He uses up most of his sick days to stay home for my panic attacks, staring at the ceiling not feeling alive, or getting sick because I’m so stressed.

Getting the hot girl takes work. Your manic pixie dream girl has her own issues. 

We need more movies where stereotypical nerds happen to have all the traits that the stereotypical attractive kids desperately need. Where you discover that they both need each-other.

Jubilee, Harry Potter, Peter Parker, Cass Cain, Luke Skywalker

Okay, the only one of these nerds with any flirting ability at all is Cass. Luke is a confirmed bachelor, but the other 3 would all fall for her charms. As they should, because Cass is AWESOME.

As she seems to be more into cheerful fun people, Potter’s out. Jubes and Cass are entirely incompatible in the “Wants To Fight Stuff” category, Jubes would be horrified to have another Macho Idiot to watch out for.

I think Peter and Cass would actually have a great time together. Rooftop tag would be great. He’s a bit oblivious, so she’d have to resort to aggressive messages to get her point across sometimes, bun fun people are GOOD for Cass.

tl;dr: they’re all losers, but Peter Parker is a fun loser and that’s all that Cass has ever wanted.