prokopetz:

Why do the movies never show us this Spider-Man?

[Comic description. Three panels of Captain America, Iron Man, and Spider-Woman all looking at Spiderman. Spiderman has a tupperware container of cookies and is wearing baggy jeans over his costume. Text:

Steve: One. Why are you 28 minutes late?

Peter: I thought this was just a talk and I… um had cookies in the oven.

Steve: Cookies.

Peter: These are very important cookies. I brought some. For everyone.

Steve: All right. That brings us to number two. Why are you wearing pants?

Peter: Okay, here goes… Around Christmas Doc Ock and I mind-swapped and the “me” that’s been running around was really him in my body. Now I’m back. But in my last fight, all my clothes got zapped off. So I webbed myself up some underwear. But I didn’t know that Ock changed my web-formula so it’d last longer, and now my pants are stuck to my butt. And it’s been over an hour. And I really have to pee.

end description.]

phantomchick:

stephaniebrowm:

elektrenatchios:

Stephanie “YOU NEVER WENT TO PROM?” Brown & Jason “I died at fifteen you fucking nugget” Todd going to Steph’s last prom together as friends

@stephaniebrrown *grease voice* tell me more tell me more

Listen,,

  • Jason is like “ugggh whatever fine” when Steph asks him to be her date, so she doesnt expect him at all to drop by her house two days later to ask her what kind of dress she’s going to wear, so he can buy an appropriate suit
  • “So…you want us to match” “of course i want us to match, what are we? Grayson? Also, if you say you’re wearing purple im calling this whole thing off”
  • “well now that you mention it, i havent bought anything yet. I’m waiting for my paycheck and-” “Are you kidding me? Let’s just hack into Bruce’s bank account and buy something cool and expensive” “I like the way think, Joanne the scammer. Jason the scammer. Jasnner the-ah c’mon that was a funny one!”
  • Stephanie does end up wearing a purple dress (no, not purple. My bad. Eggplant)
  • Jason goes along with an eggplant dress shirt, cute as a button
  • (Bruce calls Jason a week later, “you know you could have asked me, right? I wouldn’t have said no” “and where’s the fun on that? the robbery? the fraud?”)
  • imagine this: they show up dressed to the nines, with sunglasses and walking in sync. They probably think they look cool, the pair of nerds.
  • (though they look amazing so nobody really thinks they look like dorks)
  • When Jason gets asked if they’re dating he’s like “she’s a sister from a different tomb” “uh, don’t you mean womb?” “i know what i said my guy”
  • ON A SIMILAR NOTE, they definitely get the dj to play thriller, and Steph records Jason dancing to it. She probs sends it to everyone with the caption “back to his roots :~)”
  • they’re the assholes who get in the middle of couples yelling “leave space for jesus!!” 
  • (they make a competition out of it, see who annoys more couples) 
  • They take some pictures with Harper (who brought Cass as her date), and have like three dances off with them 
  • “If you dab Brown, i swear to go-oh my god i don’t know you”
  • one of Steph’s classmates is like “not to sound rude but you have such a type Steph! He looks like a more handsome version of Drake!”
  • (Jason wheezes and has to excuse himself out of the conversation) (Then begs Stephanie to let him use that against Tim)
  • ( “if you tell him, i’m showing everyone the video of one of the chaperones pinching your cheeks” “yOU SAID YOU WEREN’T FILMING THAT”)
  • at some point, right before leaving, they also make the dj play Grease songs, because they love musicals and they just had to show off their dance moves okay? You haven’t lived unless you have seen them dancing You’re the One that I Want
  • they leave early to grab burgers and milkshakes on a diner near the school. The music was already giving Jason a headache, and Steph’s heels were killing her
  • they end up taking more pictures on the diner, with the waitress judging them for spilling milkshake on their expensive clothes, than in the prom

OK no but seriously, after they leave they win prom queen and prom king and there’s just silence, because they’re not there until someone in the crowd speaks up and says they’re out getting milkshakes and live-tweeting it and it’s just Legendary. Like they don’t even realise the impression they’ve left coz they were just busy having a good time.

memes I don’t like

sunshineandsuperheroes:

  • dabbing (why)
  • the bofa one (crude, and also confusing to me because BOFA stands for Bank of America here)
  • Pepe (even when it didn’t have weird political connotations? it’s an ugly art)
  • hewwo (I just…)

I bring you positivity! Your annoyance is valid and I respect it. Still, GOOD MEMES:

  • spiders georg (learn about math! and facts!)
  • lik the bred (Shakespearean poetry everywhere!)
  • history of japan (a HISTORY MEME! And that video is brilliant)
  • ok… that sounds fake but ok (I don’t know, I just always feel ‘me too, this resonates’)

transguyghost:

transguyghost:

i dont care if u never listen to me ever again just let me be ur internet dad for just one second: dont start cutting yourselves please ever

ok im gonna reblog this again bc i want more ppl to see it?? ive compiled a (by no means complete) list of the things u can expect if u start:

– u cant stop. its a legitimate addiction. there is no ‘seeing what its like’. its soso hard to stop it and believe me, because that was me. i thought i would sate my curiosity but all i did was make my life miserable
– everything can become a trigger. someone carved things in a table?? trigger. u get a scratch by accident?? trigger. see something sharp?? yup. 
– the scars dont go away and if people see them (and no matter how hard you try, people will see them) they get this awful fucking look on their face like a mixture of disgust and horror and pity 
– u have to sit through people making shitty fucking jokes and calling people like you (real, struggling people like you) edgy emos looking for attention and it makes you feel sick but you have to sit there silently
– in fact, any conversation about self harm becomes thoroughly uncomfortable because they’ll talk about it like no one in the room has ever gone through it (or, if they know, they’ll glance at you out the corner of their eye when they think you cant see)
– any emotion can give you the urges- not just negative. ur body associates the happy feeling with the pain so ur brain is like ‘????? u cant have one without the other??’ 
– it can have been years. years. you can have stopped and got better and you’ll still feel the urge to hurt yourself and it makes you feel like you haven’t improved at all and you’re still fourteen and hating yourself
– (maybe this is just me) but some part of you misses it?? you stopped and you know its horrific but its so difficult to get rid of your blades or whatever you use because you feel so weirdly attached to these things that are so awful and you dont even know why 

god damn i just want yall to understand that you dont have to hurt yourself ever, okay?? just. don’t. trust me.

coffee-iv:

i think one of the biggest problems with tumblr is that it’s a blogging platform (personal) which people treat as a forum (public) and there is zero boundary between these two functions. as a result you get people readily and preparedly engaging in public debate with other people who are essentially talking to themselves.

it’s like sitting in your locked bedroom writing in your diary, only at any moment jeremy paxman can pop out and question you on international television

hellenhighwater:

textiles:

thepenguinsaurus:

marvelcolm:

If you’re ever in an Irish speaking part of Ireland (Gaeltacht), and you see a mother with her child, tell her, “Ith an páiste.” It’s a beautiful way of saying, “Your motherhood glows with radiance and grace.” There is no English equivalent for this so give it a go!

last time i trusted an irish guy i walked home at 4am with my bra in my handbag so lets see

ah yes

never trust the irish

It’s just a modest proposal

the problem with your joke is that no one who doesn’t already speak irish could pronounce that anyway. they’d just yell “It’s a pastie!” at some poor irish woman and her child. 

…which, now that i think about it, would have generally the same effect. 

[image shows google translate. The phrase translates as “eat the child.”]

That joke is too good not to share: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal

29. “I’m here if you need to talk” Tim and Dick!

camsthisky:

When Tim knocks on Dick’s bedroom door at three in the morning, he isn’t
sure exactly why he’s here and not in
his own room. But his body has a mind of its own and he peeks into the room to
see Dick groggily blinking awake.

“Tim?” Dick asks, his words still slurred with sleep. “What’s going on?”

Tim opens his mouth to say,
nothing, or I don’t know why I’m
here, or even, I was just checking up
on you, but nothing comes out, and Tim just stands there looking like an
idiot. Dick seems to understand, though, and he sits up and holds the blankets
up.

“Come cuddle with me, Timmy,” Dick says, a small smile on his face, but
it looks sad, too. Tim takes a step forward and then another, and before he can
stop himself, he’s slipping underneath the covers. Dick wraps an arm around him
and pulls Tim closer to his warmth. Tim lets him, still not exactly sure why he’s
here.

And they lie there in the dark and quiet for a while. It’s nice, Tim
thinks. Something that’s heavy and terrible starts to dissolve, and bit by bit,
he relaxes in his brother’s arms.

“You know,” Dick says into the dark room, “I’m always here if you need
to talk. Or cuddle. Or hug.”

Tim cracks a small smile, and he’s glad Dick can’t see it right now. “I
know.”

“Do you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?”

The smile slips, and Tim thinks about tonight. About his building
insecurities and the weight that’s growing on everybody’s shoulders—not just
Tim’s. About how Dick always tries to be there for everybody else, but ends up
taking on weight he’s not prepared to deal with.

And then Tim thinks about how this whole family always seems to go to
Dick when things get tough, and how Dick will happily welcome them each and
every time, no matter how many times he ends up falling apart because of it.

And Tim, well, he’s already a burden. He doesn’t want to be Dick’s burden. The reason that his
brother ends up shattering into a million pieces because he took on too much
weight.

So Tim opens his mouth and forces out a whispered, “Not tonight. For
now, can I just sleep here?”

“Of course,” Dick says, pulling him even closer. “Always, Tim.”

Bad! Also great! Cuddles are good. Tim thinking he’s a burden is NOT. Dick overworking himself is bad. His sleepy enjoyment of his brother is very good. Tim is too responsible, especially for things he shouldn’t be – like his older brother’s mental health. Dick doesn’t know ow to say no, so Tim has a smidgen of a point.

I am conflicted by all these feelings, Camsthisky!

types of wolverine (logan) fans

punchportals:

schismx:

canary-yellow-dad:

1. likes him ‘cause hes cool and manly. Hates cyclops. thinks its ooc and boring when he acts fatherly to random children, hates Logan/Ororo, 

2. calls him their dad, mostly cares about Laura and/or Daken

3. thinks hes sexy even with that hair, will fight anyone who says hes straight

, wants to hug him even tho hes smelly, always thinking about how short he is

4. mostly a movies fan, wont accept anyone in the role other than Hugh Jackman, 

“he’s HOW tall??” , thinks the comics are cool but is too intimidated to get started

5. has actually read all of his solo series, cryptid, edits his wikia page for fun, pretends not to be aroused by the pictures they post of him naked in the woods covered in blood but we know

6. Read all the X-men, wolverine and any comic he is in.  Will not accept his death and just reads them again to keep him alive.  Likes Old Man Logan but would rather have the hotter younger version.  Does not think he is smelly, only hairy in the right places, and really is closer to 5 7 .  

if you cant accept the fact the he smells like a wet dog who lives in a sewer you don’t deserve him

7. calls him Wolvie, mostly cares about Jubilee and/or Kitty (Actually an older generation of fan no. 2)