heartslogos:

“Sir, are you aware of how fast you were going?”

The flashlight flicks into the car and both Bull and Dorian squint.

“Do you not see the plates?” Dorian says, “Do you not see the make and model of this incredibly large truck? We’re Inquisition, let us pass.”

“Sir, you were going well over one hundred miles an hour,” The officer says. Bull has to wonder if the man brought out some sort of footstool or something to be able to look into the car. “License and registration.”

Bull takes in a slow breath and wills patience into himself, “Officer, I understand that you are doing your job. You are, in fact, doing it above and beyond considering that you pulled over the Inquisition, which is probably beyond your pay grade. But this is an emergency.”

“An emergency.”

“We’re missing the birth of our child,” Bull says and it’s dark and he’s looking against a light but he can feel the look the officer is giving him.

“You’re together?”

“No, fasta vass,” Dorian exclaims, “We are not together.”

“We’re kind of together, but tangentially,” Bull says, “In that we’re coworkers and house mates and my wife is giving birth to his child.”

The flashlight slowly moves between Bull and Dorian and back again. An unspoken excuse me goes between them.

“Your wife cheated on you to sleep with him and now she’s giving birth to his child?” The officer repeats. “Someone was crazy enough to cheat on you?”

There are so many ways to take that and while they could be amusing Bull is mostly incredibly annoyed.

“One, she didn’t cheat on him to sleep with me because I’m gay and I’m not a home wrecker,” Dorian says, “Two, can we get going before we miss the birth of our child?”

The officer shines the light on Dorian, then back on Bull. Bull doesn’t blame him for being incredibly reluctant to take that story. It does sound multiple levels of ridiculous and bullshit, except Dorian Pavus is constantly in tabloids and it’s no secret that he’s got Ellana Lavellan of the Inquisition pregnant as his surrogate.

Their house actually has an Inquisition guard to keep reporters and paparazzi and weird cult-like fans away.

This is not a secret. This is common knowledge.

This should not be holding them up from being at the birth of this child.

Bull’s cellphone rings in the cupholder and Dorian grabs it – “If this is his wife calling to tell us that she’s given birth without us there I am bringing down every authority I have in this nation and Tevinter and every other nation in between on your head.”

Bull focuses on not ripping his steering wheel off and hurling it out the window in a fit of pure rage.

Dorian goes very quiet and still and then says, “Officer the phone is for you.”

Dorian passes the phone to Bull who passes it to the Officer.

“I didn’t recognize that number,” Bull says, it hadn’t played any of the custom ringtones he assigns to people and groups. It was just a generic call.

“I bet you didn’t,” Dorian mumbles, “You wouldn’t have known the number if you saw it, either.”

The officer has gone very quiet. Bull and Dorian wait.

“Of course sir, I understand,” The officer says softly.

The phone is passed back to Bull and the officer turns the flashlight off, “Proceed. Would you like a police escort?”

“No, we’re good,” Dorian says and Bull glances down at the phone. The call is still ongoing, he chances holding it up, wondering if it’s Leliana or –

“If you miss the birth of my niece my sister would never let me hear the end of it,” Mahanon says on the other side.

“You aren’t even in the country,” Bull says as he pins the phone between his hear and shoulder, not even rolling up the window as he switches out of park and floors it. It’s terrible for the car, but it’s – overall – the least terrible thing he’s done to it since Cassandra gave him the keys.

“Terrifying,” Dorian says.

“Does it matter?” Mahanon replies dryly, “As it is, my sister already wont shut up about this baby, with my terrible fortune if you two missed the birth she’d never let me hear the end of it. We would die and she would still be talking about it well into the moment air leaves our lungs for the final time. I have other things in my life to care about.”

“You are very bad at this whole not caring thing,” Bull says.

“The fact that I am multiple nations away from you will not keep you safe,” Mahanon says, “Ignore the traffic lights, I’ve arranged things.”

“I didn’t know you had this high of an authority with the Inquisition,” Bull says. Mahanon’s authority is very high, but he didn’t think it was this high. This sounds like direct Inquisitor shit.

“Who says that this comes from the Inquisition?” Mahanon replies.

Bull shivers reflexively and Dorian leans away from him, “I don’t want to know what he just said. I feel it by proximity. I don’t want to know. Tell him thank you for getting us this much closer to seeing our child being born and also us dying.”

“Dorian says thank you for the assist,” Bull says.

“I don’t accept your gratitude,” Mahanon replies. Which is Mahanon speak for no problem. Mahanon’s fierce and bitter disgust with the world and the people the populate it at large is perhaps matched only by his distaste for platitudes in the face of common sense actions. Both are trumped by his complete and utter – returned – devotion to his sister’s wellbeing and general state of happiness.

“We’ll take pictures for you.”

“Don’t,” Mahanon says. “I don’t need to know what my sister is like during childbirth. It’s bad enough that I know what she was like as a child.”

Bull refrains from pointing out that although the two words carry some of the same letters, they are not the same concept.

“I respect your power and authority over this situation,” Bull says because Mahanon is more likely to take that than thanks.

Mahanon grunts and hangs up.

Bull lowers his shoulder and lets Dorian grab the phone.

“What happened to make him so damn ominous?”

“Ellana’s no less ominous, she’s just ominous in a different way,” Bull points out.

“The kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night when her words finally sink in and you’re left with this dawning epiphany you want to run away from at full speed but you can’t because the void of sleep has deserted you to this primal awakening?”

“Good, you’re aware of what our future child might have waiting for us,” Bulll nods, “Let’s hope that Baby doesn’t have her sense of ominous foreboding and Mahanon’s thousand yard stare.”