She doesn’t know it yet, but she will soon. You see, the midterm paper on calls for students to write a collection evaluation for a library of our choosing. Now, I know that when she said that library does not need to be real, she meant that we didn’t need to pick a specific one. But what I heard was…
For those of you requesting the full paper, I’ll see what I can do once I get the grade back!
I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED
For the sake of this evaluation, only the official, present collection of the Unseen University will be examined. Collections belonging to other libraries that are accessible via L-Space will be considered as part of the Interlibrary Loan System, as will materials available by time-travel and other such means.
Relatedly:
Whether or not acquiring books that have not yet been written is a violation of copyright law has yet to be legally clarified, but faculty and students should not expect to be permitted to cite them in their own work (see also Library Rule 3: Do Not Interfere With The Nature Of Causality).
tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like
“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”
and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent
“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”
“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!”
“How about kimoNO.”
“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”
“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”
“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”
Not just the fashion either. Imagine the poor LINGUISTS. Trying to correct accents and pronunciations and slang terms we might not even have anymore, or trying to work with dead languages just so their people aren’t noticed. and occasionally a time agent with a really strong accent they can’t do anything to change, and going ‘NO! You’re mute this mission! forget it! I am not letting you go to 1100′s England sounding like that. You’ll be a dead giveaway!
and the Historians and cultural anthropologists: ‘I am NOT sending a protestant Baptist woman into the heart of 1480′s Spain. ARE YOU MAD?! They’ll be charged with heresy or witchcraft and executed within the week! Find me a damn Catholic man who knows their Mass and is passably decent in Latin! NOW!’
“No Frank, I don’t give a SHIT how much you want to be Francois the nobleman, this is 1794 FRANCE. The Reign Of Terror? Ring any bells? No? Well unless you wish to be gruesomely beheaded by a guillotine, then you are going to be Francois the candle and lamp oil seller and stop raising a damn fuss about it! I swear a doctorates in History should be standard requirements for any agent to have this job…
Stephen Wrabel has made a strong and beautiful anthem about transgender lives
“This song is the most important thing to me that I have ever done and probably will ever do. It’s the closest thing to my heart,” Wrabel tells Billboard. (Photo above)
“I came out as gay around 23 into a church in Los Angeles that told me I could and should change; that I was unnatural and wrong. I hope this reaches anyone in need of it and makes them feel like they’re not alone.”
The main role is played by trans actor August Aiden.
I love this song!
Here are the lyrics:
No, your mom don’t get it And your dad don’t get it Uncle John don’t get it And you can’t tell grandma ‘cause her heart can’t take it And she might not make it They say, “don’t dare, don’t you even go there. Cutting off your long hair. You do as you’re told.” Tell you, “wake up, go put on your makeup. This is just a phase you’re gonna outgrow.”
There’s something wrong in the village In the village, oh They stare in the village In the village, oh There’s nothing wrong with you It’s true, it’s true There’s something wrong with the village With the village There’s something wrong with the village
Feel the rumors follow you from Monday all the way to Friday dinner You got one day of shelter, then it’s Sunday hell to pay, you young lost sinner Well I’ve been there, sitting in that same chair Whispering that same prayer half a million times It’s a lie though Buried in disciples One page of the Bible isn’t worth a life
The complete list of punishable offenses committed inside Wayne Manor, December 2016:
stabbed multiple siblings with a sharpened candy cane
decorated a gravestone with festive lights (note: guilty party argued that it is impossible to desecrate one’s own grave; therefore they did nothing wrong)
ran the hot water in three separate bathrooms every time a sibling decided to shower
stole a full pie, ate it piece by piece in the refrigerated section of the cave laboratory
finished a shift on security duty, left their netflix account logged in on the batcomputer
loud arguing at the company Christmas party
dropped an imaginary microphone after a statement to the press
hid a training mannequin that a sibling described as “creepy” inside that sibling’s bathroom, closet, and ceiling tiles on consecutive nights (note: mannequin placement quickly transcended the original parties and became a house-wide pastime) (further note: mannequin became increasingly unnerving as it accumulated stab wounds, bullet holes, and duct tape repairs)
measured the height of a snowbank by shoving a sibling into it (note: guilty party discovered that the snowbank was taller than their sibling, remained unconcerned)
it is because i am a much cuddlier person than steve. steve likes to wear skintight tshirts and is made of 98% granite carved in the shape of muscles. (the remaining 2% is freedom) i am made of murder and layers of knitwear with a leather jacket over top. plus an undetermined quantity of knives. but still. much cuddlier. its why my stabbing habit is such a tragedy
this meeting is really boring so i got steve to make me a little drawing. i didnt tell him what it was for. i did the labelling
i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -0009 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)
“Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A’hm gonna wrassle it.”
I’ve been meaning to do a sketch of @kevinwada‘s Scarlet Witch redesign for a while now and finally found some time last night to whip this up (plus I’m really excited for her new series). Enjoy!
Ok so this happened and this is amazing and happy Sunday to us all.
what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now
Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.
YES, EXACTLY–vision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes it’s “"dark”“ and we can’t see anything. And also we’re impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ”“too bright”“ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ”“line of sight”“)–and yes, of course, can’t forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.
And SNIPING. And also, god, fuck–don’t forget about completely arbitrary “”””atmospheric disturbances””” (fog, smoke–the new “ionic interference”) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.
Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that “change the angles of refraction” of the “light” so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhanced–but they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.
Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.
Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!
IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. God–you get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that they’ve lost their glasses.
Oh my god and an episode where we’re up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like ‘you can see them, right, you can tell when they’re near? you can counter them?’ and our hero is genuinely shaken and worried— they’ve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute ‘darkness’, they can operate in near-lethal ‘brightness’, they can see through walls— not doors, not glass, but walls.
Then we have a heroic scene where the crew’s human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.
Person 1: I dunno, dude. This ‘light’ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. I mean, how do we know it’s even real?
Person 2: Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle? That doesn’t even make sense.
Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmth–
Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah. You’re insufferable.
Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the ‘light’ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ‘rods’ and ‘cones’. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light we’re perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive ‘textures’ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my people’s communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we ‘read’ the patterns of light they emit as language and ‘watch’ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.
Captain: okay…. sounds fake, but okay…
And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like
Navigator: Warp drive engaged. We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.
Human: What now?
Navigator: Oh, uh, it’s really complex, but lemme try. So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per second–
Human: Ah yes. The speed of light.
Navigator: …oh for fuck’s sake.
Captain: My god! Time! Has… frozen!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
Captain: What?
Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?
Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.
Human: Yeah, light’s frozen along with everything else. I can’t see shit.
Captain: My god! Our sonar doesn’t work either! The soundwaves— they can’t propagate through this frozen air! We’ll have to use just our whiskers!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
HUMAN: Hey, these aliens don’t believe in light!
HUMAN SCIENTIST: What??? That’s impossible, how could they have warp drives and not know about electromagnetic radiation?!?!?!
ALIEN: Oh, come on! Now this mysteeeerious mystical force is somehow tied to electrodynamics? Give me a break.
kiragecko 