After all
that complaining about how I DON’T CARE about queer stuff, I should probably
feel ridiculous posting this. BUT.

I really,
really, want a fic about Bart having as much understanding of gender identity and
sexual attraction as I do of romantic attraction.

Bart coming
to Tim and asking about some aspect of dating, or why people respond badly to
homosexuality, or something else Tim is COMPLETELY unequipped to explain.

And Tim
carefully asking questions to confirm that Bart still doesn’t get why he’s
supposed to go in the men’s washroom or not wear skirts. Because he doesn’t
identify with any gender OR feel any dysphoria when labelled. He doesn’t care,
and because he’s BART, he has no clue that he SHOULD care. And he has never
felt attraction to either gender (Carol and future!Rose can still have happened.
I’m happily married to my best friend. You don’t need romantic or sexual
attraction for a relationship). He’s never got that it’s a thing different than
friendship.

I want Bart
getting the talk I never got. From the ground up. Describing gender to someone
who’s upbringing allowed him to avoid any opinions about it at all. Describing
attraction, both sexual and romantic. With super basic examples.

And Tim
being SUPER AWKWARD but also surprisingly good at it. Because he sees things
from the outside all the time, so I’d think he’d be good at describing feelings
that someone has never experienced to them in a way that would make sense.

I want to
see sexual and gender identity explained as if they were magic, or some other
concept that doesn’t exist and nobody is expected to know anything about. And
the little lightbulb moments with Bart, as some weird behaviour suddenly makes
sense and he excitedly asks Tim if this is why people do __.

Also, SO
MANY bonus points if at some point Tim is explaining asexuality and Bart is
like, that’s how you are, right? And Tim fumbles and then says something about
how he’s complicated, because there are a lot of outside factors (trauma, neglect,
being an awkward nerd, etc.) for him. In this fic, I want a Tim who isn’t
asexual, just really uncomfortable with sex and sexuality. Because that
interests me too.

Even more
bonus points for a coda at the end with Bart excitedly telling Kon what he now
understands and Kon having his own little Eureka moment. Because his upbringing
also leaves the possibility for SO MANY gaps in his knowledge base he might
never have even noticed.