heartlessharless:

violsva:

Futhermore: “tumblr” as you experience it is defined entirely by whom you’re following. If you think tumblr doesn’t focus enough on recovery or female artists or Jason Momoa, follow some recovery/female artists/Jason Momoa blogs, and tumblr will change.

THIS. People are always going on about “tumblr is so toxic” like there’s a singular tumblr experience and we’re all helpless to escape it. UNFOLLOW PEOPLE. If someone’s putting bullshit on your dash, just unfollow them. Follow new people. It really is that simple. Tumblr is what you make it.

Soviet translators’ struggles behind the Iron Curtain

tiny-loudness:

The film director Oleg Dorman recorded a story about the Russian translator Lilianna Lungina. He was working together with her husband Semyon Lungin in their house, when an upset Lilianna walked into the room. She was translating a work of a foreign author and shared her problem: “The character in the book walks through the airport carrying a hamburger, and I have no idea what that means.” Semyon said: “I think that might be a kind of an overcoat, like makintosh.” “Oh, thank you,” Lilianna replied. “I’ll write ‘He was carrying a hamburger over his arm...’”

She left the room. After a while she walked back in and said in a weak voice: “He ate it.

nijinzky:

Y’ALL I’M

[Image is a tweet from Henry Alberto, @itshenryalberto, saying, “Rehearsal was a success! Can’t wait for Wednesday. Ari and Dante have voices! @Xolo_Mariduena and @reeseWgonzales – @BenjaminAlireSa can’t wait for you to see!” followed by a blue heart. There’s also an image of the two voice actors with scripts, looking at each other.

End ID.]

@heartslogos?

ieafy:

broccoli and bok choy wives!

[Image shows two somewhat cartoony (in a good way) women. One has a green afro held back by a cream headband, cream pearl shaped earrings, curves, dark skin, and green nails. She’s wearing a cream collared, high necked, sleeveless top with a little green heart on it; green flats; and a leafy, flouncy, short skirt.

Her wife is holding her hand. They smile and stare into each other’s eyes.

Wife has long white hair, a white pearl bracelet, white shoes with a split toe (or tabi?), and olive toned skin. She’s wearing a pale green dress, with short sleeves,  that overlaps in the skirt, like bok choy leaves. 

End ID.]

{Image shows a male anime character with a hand raised towards a yellow butterfly. The butterfly is labeled, “clear expression of romantic interest.”

The hand (or possibly he’s speaking?) is labeled, “is this a platonic statement?”

The character himself is labeled, “my oblivious ass.”

End ID.]

camsthisky:

He knows before he’s officially gotten home- before he’s even turned the corner onto his street, really, his every sense attuned to his apartment.  Still, it isn’t until his key is in the door that he finally places the heartbeat he’s hearing- steady, strong, slightly too fast, either young enough to still be growing or upset.  Probably both.

There’s a heavy-looking backpack sitting on the floor, a dripping wet school blazer hooked onto the coat rack they have in lieu of a closet.  He finds room on the floor for his own bag, moves the blazer to a lower hook so his coat won’t get dripped on.  Then he sighs and turns to face the living room at large, and the boy on the sofa.

“Lois went out to grab some food,” the boy says.  His damp hair, so black it shines almost blue, is hanging in his eyes, and only his fingertips peek out of the sleeves of the sweatshirt he has on.  The boy is small enough that Lois could have easily lent him one of her sweaters, but instead he’s swimming in Clark’s old U of M hoodie.  He’s already small for his age, but between the sweatshirt and the tight little ball he’s tucked himself up into, he looks absolutely tiny, and so fragile Clark’s heart aches.  “She didn’t really know what to do with me,” he adds, almost abstract.  Less of a complaint, more of an observation.

“Does she know who you are?” Clark asks, coming into the room a little.  It’s a fair question- Clark himself barely knows who this boy is, for all they’ve met a half-dozen times.

“I told her my name, and she got all,” the boy twists his face, a near-perfect imitation of the face Lois makes when she hears something interesting and is trying not to let her excitement show.  “So. Probably.”

“Ah,” Clark says, because he doesn’t know what to say to that.

“Also, I gave her two hundred bucks,” the boy adds wryly.  “So you probably want to call her.  Dinner’s on me.”

“Robin,” Clark begins.

“Dick,” the boy corrects instantly.  “I’m not Robin right now.”

Clark takes a deep breath to respond to that, holds it a moment, lets it back out again in another sigh.  He moves over to the sofa and sits down carefully on the far end from Dick, for whatever good that will do.  The kid would have to leave the state to be out of Clark’s immediate reach.

“Bruce?” he asks, sparing the boy a sideways glance.  Dick turns himself so he’s facing Clark, leaning back against the arm of the sofa, still tucked up painfully tight.

“Hunting wabbits,” the kid says, and Clark looks sharply over at him, surprised at the faint humor in his tone.  He instinctively scans the boy- he knows Bruce, he knows Batman, he knows the sort of training this boy is getting- but sees no dead spots that indicate any sort of container with a lead lining.  There is, however, a scattering of warm spots up the boy’s side and on his stomach that will resolve into light bruising within a day or two, most of them the size and shape of small fists.  It’s too new to be from anything Batman-related, and Clark spends a moment or two judging the likelihood of this kid getting bullied in school.  “He’s in Edinburg,” Dick continues, oblivious.

“Edinburg,” Clark echoes.  “Business?”

“Yeah,” Dick says with a shrug.  “And Batman stuff, but he doesn’t want me knowing that.  Alfred’s gonna be busy running the comms, so this morning he told me I could hang out at a friend’s house after school.”

“And by a friend, you mean me,” Clark says in patient disbelief, and gets another shrug.  “Would there even be a point to asking how you know where I live?”

There’s a chipped mug sitting on the end table behind Dick, filled with something that smells like some flowery sort of tea.  Dick twists around and picks the mug up, cradles it carefully in both hands as he sips from it.  “You should be flattered,” he says to the mug.  “You’re his number one Batman-related emergency contact.  Not counting me and Alfred, of course.”

Clark shifts a little, braces his elbow against the back of the couch and rests his head on his fist, staring in contemplation at his young guest.  Batman is fiercely protective of Robin and won’t tolerate even the slightest whisper about the little bird, about his skills or his training or the appropriateness of his presence in the field.  It had taken three encounters for Superman to be able to so much as introduce himself to Robin, and even that was with Batman looming close over his young partner’s shoulder.  But Clark Kent has never met Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne’s ward, and he is rapidly realizing that the dynamic is different under these circumstances.

Still, Clark has no desire to start stepping on Bruce’s toes, especially in this area.  “Why don’t you let Alfred know where you are,” he says mildly, and it sounds like a request but it really isn’t.

Dick gives him a brief, considering look.  Then he holds his tea out in clear expectation, and when Clark automatically takes it for him, he dips one hand into the pouch pocket of the hoodie and produces a cell phone.  It has a little S-shield charm tied to its case, and Clark smirks despite himself.  The sweatshirt sleeves get pushed up enough to free the boy’s hands- his knuckles are red and raw, one or two bandaged- and he taps out a fast message.  He waits a moment, then turns the phone around and holds it out, showing the received-and-read message to Clark.  Then he tucks the phone away again and daintily plucks his tea out of Clark’s unresisting grip.  “There.  Now can I stay for dinner?”

“Might as well, since you’re paying,” Clark agrees, and glances askance at the kid.  “Two hundred dollars?”

“Yeah,” Dick agrees without meeting his gaze.  “Turns out, Bruce has like zero understanding of what money is worth.”  He drinks his tea and plucks at the sleeve of Clark’s hoodie with his free hand, rubbing the well-worn fabric between two fingers, and Clark wonders at Dick’s life before the tragedy that had deposited him on Bruce’s doorstep.  He seems almost embarrassed by the wealth Bruce throws around so casually.

The mug is almost empty, drained by Dick’s attempt to avoid further conversation.  Clark holds out his hand in offering, and when Dick passes it over, he rises and heads into the kitchen.  There is no kettle, so Clark merely rinses out the tea dredges and refills the mug with water, adds a teabag from the box on the counter, then puts it in the microwave.  Alfred would be horrified.

“So did you miss out on Edinburg because of the fight?” he asks, still in the kitchen, safety and comfort in the distance.

Dick is silent, not even breathing for a long moment- and Clark is panicking, thinking he screwed up, remembering all the uncomfortable conversations Batman has simply walked away from- but then there’s a noise, the slide of fabric on skin as Dick pulls the sleeves back down over his hands.

“He doesn’t know about this,” he says.  “It’s.”   And he stops, and swallows hard, and Clark turns to look at him.  He looks unsure of himself for the first time since Clark walked in to see him perched on the couch.  “It’s a bad one, the case.  I didn’t want to distract him.”

Ah, Clark thinks.  And there it is- he’s worried.  Worried, and useless, and trying to find something to do with himself.

The microwave dings and Clark turns back to it.  He uses the distraction to pull out his own phone and text Lois- she won’t be happy, but she’ll understand.  This doesn’t really involve her.  Then he gets the tea out of the microwave and heads back into the living room.

“Well, I don’t have a Netflix account,” he says as he offers the tea to Dick.  “But I do get the Game Show Network, and it is-” he glances at his watch, realizes he has no idea, and takes a guess, “- Jeopardy time.”

“Wheel of Fortune,” Dick corrects, but he doesn’t protest when Clark turns the TV on.  And when Clark sits down, in the center of the couch this time, it’s only a matter of seconds before the boy shifts closer.

By the time Jeopardy actually does come on Dick is tucked in against Clark’s side, not asleep yet but working on it.  And when Alfred calls much later to report mission success, Clark elects to tell Dick in the morning, and lets sleeping birds lie.

this is such a wonderful fic thank you anon 🙂

Paper Review with the Tentacle Theatre: Cats vs. Coriolis Effect

petermorwood:

terrible-tentacle-theatre:

Before we begin, I’ll have to state my heartfelt belief that there isn’t such a thing as useless research. Sating our human curiosity is a perfectly good reason for conducting experiments and doing science; wanting to know more is part of what makes us human, afterall. Your research does not need to be immediately useful to be valuable.

But goddamn if some of that research isn’t just straight up funny as fuck.

image

This is just a taste of what’s to come.

Thank you so much, @thedailyhermit, for alerting me to the existence of this marvelous research paper, written by

Michael J. Donahoo of Baylor University, Gary N. Boone of the Georgia Institute of Technology and Tucker Balch of the Carnegie Mellon University. This is one of those papers which scratches an itch of curiosity you wouldn’t even know you had until reading it, but the fact that this is published as a professionally-worded scientific paper pushes it from “mildly interesting” to “crying laughing” levels of hilarity.

So, without further ado, let’s open this baby and dig in.

The title of this marvelous publication is already a gift in and of itself. Behold:

image

Oh boy.

Basically what is happening here is that they’re testing if the Coriolis effect produced by the Earth’s rotation has an effect on the midair rotation of cats. Even more briefly, the subject of this research is to see if cats rotate in different directions when dropped on different hemispheres of Earth.

Fuck yeah, science.

The authors, apparently, didn’t share my belief that no research is useless, because they felt the need to actually give a reason as to why this knowledge is immediately practical to the human race, beyond providing insight into feline physiology. Namely:

image
image
image

Imagine being lost in some remote part of the world, and having no idea even which hemisphere you’re on. The solution? Why, catch a cat and fucking drop it, of course! Though chasing after a cat to drop in the middle of bumfuck nowhere is probably an excellent way to get even more lost, but I digress. This is the peak of human comedy, guys. Everybody go home. We had a good run but nothing and nobody is ever going to top this.

So, now that we’re done with the first paragraph, let’s get to the actual meat of the article. Starting with the wonderful diagrams such as this one:

image

Looking at that silhouette I cannot shake the feeling that that’s Sylvester the Cat.

And of course, the organically home-grown Scientist Snark™:

image

Translation: “You’re dumber than a cat, Frank.”

image

“We don’t fucking throw the cats, but only because it would distort the experimental data. Yeah, that’s good. Write that down Frank.”

image

You know, “it would be horribly cruel and unethical” is a pretty good justification for not launching cats out of a goddamn cannon. You made the right choice here, guys.

And finally, after arduous experimenting, we get the fruit of the authors’ labors, namely this results table:

image

Behold: science.

I have a hunch that the high amount of disqualifications probably results from the pissed off test subjects clawing the shit out of our intrepid researchers. I know I would be angry as hell if some big lug in a labcoat picked me up, held me upside down and dropped me many times. I’d give that guy what for, that’s for sure.

And now, for the results!

image
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Translation:

“MOTHER FUCKER IT CLAWED ME SO BAD”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have turned it upside down, Frank. Cats don’t like that very much.”

I CALLED IT. In this case, “disqualification” is most likely science terminology for “fucking with cats is a bad idea”.

image

Translation: “None of our friends on the southern hemisphere believed we were serious when we told them they’d have to turn cats upside down and drop them like the beat.”

Explaining this to your colleagues must have been a wild ride. I wish I was there to see that.

image

Well out of the thirty experiments you had done, 27 were invalid, and none were conducted on the southern hemisphere, but sure, let’s go with that.

And finally, for the conclusions derived from this groundbreaking experiment:

image

Yay…?

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That is NOT a sentence I ever expected to read in a scientific paper.

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Okay, okay. Up to this point I was reading this paper in complete uncertainty whether you guys were just taking the piss, but now you left no doubts. Just how fucking bored were you?!

image

MOVE OVER SELF-DRIVING CARS, SELF-DRIVING CATS IS WHERE IT’S AT 

THE FUTURE IS NOW FUCKERS

FFFFFFfhhhucking hell, people. Reading this paper was… an experience. I’ll make sure to travel to Stockholm next year when these serious and professional gentlemen inevitably win the Nobel Prize in Medicine. I can’t wait to hear their acceptance speech, I’m sure it will be enlightening.

Moral of the story: don’t believe stupid movies that portray scientists as emotionless human robots scribbling away on their clipboards. They are equally bored as you, with the difference that they have the proper methodology to make their shitposting objectively correct. I mean, tell me this isn’t the most perfect meme format you have ever laid eyes upon.

image

You could tell me that, but I know you’d be lying.

FOR SCIENCE!

A while back I found the Big Brown Envelope with my Big School reports in it, all the way from Form I (aged 11) to Form Upper VI-B (aged 18) and @dduane was highly amused at how specific my separation of grades were: in summary, Arts were excellent, Sciences were abysmal.

This is partly because (1) I liked one but not the other and (2) I had good (able to make it interesting) teachers in one but not the other.

However dropping cats to determine geography-related feline gravitation-influenced ballistic rotation might have improved my science marks by a considerable margin.

Or I might just have brought the experimental subjects home with me, bc Cats.

rockpapertheodore:

fandomsandanythingelse:

twentyonelizards:

broadjay:

consider: adhd immortal people

“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.

catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer

“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”

“you’ve lived here since 1740″

MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back