When you’re not in a fandom but your friend is so you send them every gifset of the thing that passes your way like “is this good? Is this the thing you love? I love and respect you, please enjoy this incomprehensible fan sobbing about two men in alien prosthetics, I hope this is the right Star Trek”
Okay, you need to make sure you play this game at some point. Maybe not today or anything, because you’ll need about thirty minutes and a serious willingness to understand how it works, but – it’s so worth it. It’s basically an answer to our occasional frustration – why do assholes always come out on top? – and the beautiful thing about it is that not only does it explain how that happens, but also how we can change it.
“In the short run, the game defines the players. But in the long run, it’s us players who define the game.”
This is fascinating if you’re into math or sociology or computer programming or all of the above.
Everyone, everywhere, without exception, should play this thing through.
Special Interest is exclusive to autistic people as we have been pathologized for our special interests.
Hyperfixation is the community wide term, and was coined specifically so people with ADHD could talk about the shared experiences around having hyperfixations/special interests without appropriating special interests.
– Os
That “special interest” is autism-specific and people with ADHD should say “hyperfixation” instead is not a consensus of the autistic community, and the human brain is not actually configured according to our political distinctions in terminology.
My opinion is that the ADHD blog (whose author I know personally) was correct, and autism-asks is incorrect.
Neurodivergent people should be able to use the words that accurately describe what we are experiencing. (FWIW, I am autistic, I do not have ADHD.) Some people with ADHD experience interests or passions in a way that isn’t substantially distinguishable from the way in which autistic people experience this phenomenon. They may not be pathologized for it in exactly the same way, but that isn’t what determines whether the experience itself is pretty much the same thing.
And like a LOT of people are diagnosed with ADHD (whether correctly or not) before they’re diagnosed with autism (whether instead of or in addition to ADHD). Their “hyperfixations” do not suddenly become “special interests” when their diagnosis changes.
And a lot of people who don’t qualify for any specific diagnosis experience isolated features of autism, because autism is caused by the combined effects of lots of common genes. 90% of mothers of autistic kids, whether they’re autistic themselves or not, experience some kind of sensory processing anomaly.
They deserve to be able to call those experiences what they are, in a way that enables them to make themselves understood. Nobody is helped by falsely separating out the allowed language for who is experiencing what, if they are substantially the same thing.
I do not know how things got this way, but I think some folks could stand to…learn to appreciate that some neighborhoods of the autistic and ADHD communities think of these topics a little differently than they do. People with ADHD who subscribe to this way of talking about them are not in the wrong.
(And some of us with autism hate the term “special interest.” Honestly, ADHD’ers can have it for all I care.)
I am kind of done with gatekeeping tbh going on like… My opinion is to agree that the ADHD blog was correct. I’m autistic and have ADHD so like… definitely not a consensus in all parts of the autistic community that it’s “appropriating” “special interest.”
As a person that has a great deal of difficulty with words – yeah, I am done with people trying to gatekeep them.
If a word fits what you mean to say please use it. Making up new words for each subset of humanity makes communication HARDER not EASIER.
Words have meanings, not owners.
I generally agree. It’s describing the same damn symptom. I’ve heard that “special interest” is an ableist term from an abusive therapy so that’s why its autism exclusive, but I’ve never seen any sources for it so _(シ)_/.
Actually, the term is REALLY OLD. Was not originally related to anything specific – no diagnosis or anything. Clubs and social organizations have been using it since before autism was a diagnosis (see Mensa, for example). Most older social organizations have “Special Interest” groupings of some sort, aimed at attracting people who have some really strong attachment to specific topics. It was not used by the abusive groups BECAUSE of that affiliation with respected organizations – they do not want to imply the members of elitist clubs are ‘bad’ in any way – that’s where they get their funding. The attempt to say it is “only for autistics” is just gatekeeping to try to make being autistic some exclusionary thing – and as a nonverbal autistic, I say no – do not try to make my life harder just to grab at some bit ‘exclusionism’ you (general) can use to feel special.
Honestly, ADHD person chiming in, the reason, the only reason, I use hyperfixation, is because the way I experience my hyperfixations does seem to be substantially different from the way people experience special interests.
For me, hyperfixations are intense while they last but can end up dropping themselves for the next shiny thing much more easily than it seems from out here that special interests can. (I say drop themselves because I’m not consciously doing the dropping.) They can also go latent for weeks, months, years, decades. The infodumps seem to be shorter, too. I *need* to tell you about my hyperfixation, but only for a minute or two. My hyperfixations are marked by brief, fiery intensity, where I have very little control over how incredibly focused I am on them, but they might end or pause at any time. This makes sense, as they are the subjects of my hyperfocus.
Examples:
Babylon 5 – I know a whole heck of a lot about it, can recite a lot of it, keep coming back to it…but I might go years without watching an episode. If someone brings it up, or I feel wounded inside and need reliable comfort, though, Babylon 5 comes roaring back. I go through cycles of hyperfixation with Babylon 5.
Second Life – When I did it I did it for hours a day. I loved it intensely. I did cool things with it. I shut out the world when I was on it. It was all I wanted to talk about. Then it stopped running well on my computer and I found other things to do and *poof* hyperfixation gone.
If an ADHD person has a special interest, they should probably be allowed to describe it as a special interest. However, if I say I have a hyperfixation, I don’t mean special interest, and I would be frustrated if someone labelled it one.
Is why I said “If a word fits what you mean to say please use it.” in my first response 😀 Telling people what words to use based on which subset of which divergence they might have and the color of the sky at the time they are speaking is making word salad out of what used to be perfectly useful terms.
tfw ur having second thoughts about leaving ur batdad; aka, “I opened my mouth and Bruce came out.” See also: Jason and Bizarro.
[Image is a panel of a comic book. Spoiler is in her full-face mask and hooded cloak. She has a hand to her temple and looks frustrated. A man with a gold fave, red jacket, and long blond hair is behind her holding a box or bag. Text:
Spoiler: You told me you had a whole new way of helping Gotham. Something different than the path Batman offered.
Gold man: Would Batman have had you these Epipens and deliver them to the people who need them the most?
Spoiler: Literally, yes. Like, every week. How did you think I knew how to bust into Penguin’s narcotics warehouse? How come every time I try to do this differently than Batman, I just end up doing exactly what Batman would do?
I love watching Batman and justice league cartoons because you get to see how much of a dork Bruce Wayne actually is
Like
•he whines at Alfred when he has to go on a television interview (“do I have to Alfred?”)
•he gets super pouty when his car gets totally wrecked and then he gets super excited when he builds a new one and takes it for a joy ride
•try’s way too hard at making super lame jokes
•his favorite icE CREAM IS CHOCOLATE THATS SUPER CUTE OKAY
•pulled the lamest of lame jokes on Alfred on April fools day
•when Dick says he wants his super hero name to be Robin and Bruce is just “…like the bird?”
•does all these super over the top jumps and kicks just because he fucking can
•just stands off in the distance doing his “hmmmmm” thing
•he’s constantly showing his kids off and joking around with them and is super proud of them and he’s actually a good dad
•bRoke INTO THE FUCKING WATCHTOWER DATA BASE AND CALMLY STARTED WORKING WHILE THE LEAGUE STARED ON IN HORROR
•Bruce will never get out of his costume unless Alfred makes him
•he’s super dramatic when he puts the costume on–so much so that he fucking hurt himself when putting on a glove
•does this huge dramatic reveal of the leagues identities to flash and has this stupid gay dopey smile when he does it
•gets super flustered around the girl he likes and the kids make fun of him. Constantly
•tore up someone’s basement and told them to have a nice day and then just fucking left
•he just goes off into these rants and monologues
•he probably tears across buildings and rooms in a full on naruto run just so he can be gone by the time the person he’s talking to turns around
•tells a raccoon it has a nice mask Jesus Christ
•gets doused with joker gas and has pretty nice laugh actually–but he laughs at everything and Alfred is just “go lay the fuck down”
•he probably scopes out the building with the perfect lighting and wind speed so his cape can blow dramatically in the wind
•Batman: he’s not one for much conversation
Robin: like you can talk
•he puts headphones in and listens to hard rock music at classical concerts like a dick
•diVES IN FRONT OF HIS BATLINGS WHEN EVER THEYRE IN TROUBLE HES SUCH A GOOD DAD OKAY
•he just glares until he gets his way
•stayed kidnapped for a whole two days for the dramatics of it
•everything he does is for the dramatic aesthetic and Alfred always calls him out (“aesthetic or death Alfred!” *cue dramatic cape flip*)
I mean, Danny Rand being stupid is incredibly canon. I am not arguing that. But he is ADORABLY incredibly stupid.
He’s a millionaire how really likes cheap Chinese takeout
When he meets people for the first time, he wants to show them his cool moves. Even if they’re his nurse, he is so injured he can’t stand, and his first ‘cool move’ is him falling over.
He has the BEST confused and shocked looks
His friends say things like, “You know what the four most terrifying words in the English language are? ‘Danny has a plan.’”
Apparently, Defenders has made Iron Fist very unlikable and boring. This is tragic.
There’s a series called Immortal Iron Fist, started in 2006, and it’s probably in the top ten comics I’ve ever read. Danny is goofy and earnest and adorable.
I’m just sad you guys are getting this pathetic, inferior Danny Rand.
So about 4 days ago my brother was working in the yard and he was getting rid of this big old plastic pot we had that was already falling apart. To fit it in the garbage bag he had to smash it into smaller pieces with a shovel.
But when he dumped out the dirt….
…eggs. Ten little eggs.
My mom brought them in to show me. Not knowing what they were or if they were dangerous or not, she asked me if I wanted to take one and open it up outside to make sure it wasn’t full of baby bugs or something. I told her that they were definitely reptile eggs but she was still giving them the ‘I-still-don’t-trust-that-they-aren’t-bugs’ look.
I knew there was no way it was full of bugs and I wouldn’t be able to get it off my mind if we cut one out and killed it. But then I remembered candling.
If you don’t know what candling is, it’s when you put a flashlight under an egg to check if it’s fertile or not.
So I told her to hold on and I ran to get a flashlight.
Lo and behold they were not bugs.
It was our first time ever candling anything so we weren’t exactly sure what to look for. The only videos I had ever seen for candling an egg was a video talking about how some geckos lay eggs without a mate but there is a rare chance they could be fertile anyway; the eggs in the video were always empty though. So we checked all the eggs and they were all alive and responsive. I managed to convince my family that I was 99% sure they were lizards of some kind.
Since we kind of accidentally destroyed their nest and a storm was coming we set out to give them somewhere safe to hatch.
We got a pot and filled it with damp dirt like the one we found them in but smaller. After candling each egg, we made a divot in the dirt and placed each egg half in and half off, careful not to turn them too much and damage them.
My mom did some research and found that the eggs needed to be kept somewhere with good humidity so we got a plastic book crate, drilled some holes in it, and filled the bottom with wet paper towels.
The mystery eggs were put in the garage where it was just as hot as outside but safe from the huge thunderstorm.
Day 2 of eggs and nothing happened. We didn’t think anything would happen just yet but we were all a little worried that we were doing the wrong thing. It was my day to go finish up cleaning up the dirt and shards from the broken pot in the yard when I found another egg.
I picked it up and it wasn’t as firm as the others. In fact it was leaking. I called my mom and candled the little guy. He was just as alive as the others were. There wasn’t much room in the new incubator with the other eggs so we got a tiny beta fish tank we haven’t used in years and fixed it up for the egg. We put it in the garage next to the others.
Now this egg had me worried. He had been out in the storm with a damaged egg. I would go out and check on him throughout the day. Not a thing happened and I was starting to worry that he didn’t make it.
Day 3 of eggs was interesting. I went out to check again on little egg 11 with my mom. She asked how the others were doing and wanted to see. It was fogged up on the inside so I shone a light through and saw it. A head! A little baby lizard head poking out of the egg!
The incubator was taken inside and everyone was gathered around the table. We would all switch from watching the eggs, to someone doing research, to checking the eggs, to setting up the empty tank we had, to checking the eggs again.
All together 4 little lizards were hatching. They’d kick for a bit in their eggs but then fall asleep because it was so tiring.
After a while my mom got concerned about one that hadn’t opened its eyes in ages. It wasn’t moving. I picked up the egg and put it in my hand. I rubbed the shell and gently gave it little tugs. Then out the baby came!
This little guy came out healthy and fast. After a brief look-around he ran out of my hand and back into the pot. Then over the edge of the pot to explore the hides we fit in.
After 4 of the babies fully hatched and we figured out what we were going to do, we put the incubators in the spare tank we had so we could keep an eye on them. At that point it was a little past 1:00am and a 5th egg started to hatch.
Day 4 of eggs and lizards we went to the local pet store to get something that these super small babies could eat. Luckily, Petco carries super small crickets and meal worms. We loaded up on reptile supplies: bus, vitamin dust, hides, heat lamps, you name it we probably bought it.
Upon getting home my mother and I readied the tank.
At that point all but two eggs had hatched. One we thought wasn’t going to make it because it didn’t react when I candled it, and the other was number 11 who was found a day late and broken. We decided to move the two into one incubator instead of two while we moved 9 of the lizards into their temporary home.
When we look for them they were hiding in the incubator all curled up together under a plant we had put in. They actually seem to do that everywhere they decide to hide which is kind of surprising to me. I thought they were going to all be really territorial with each other. But they seem to like each other more than I thought they would.
After a few hours, number 11 hatched and he was just as healthy and fast as the others despite being through the storm earlier. Not too long after that, the last egg hatched. He was much smaller than the others but equally as fast. We added them both to the tank with the others and they hid as quick as a ninja.
Day 5 of lizards was mostly setting up heat lamps and lights and worrying if they were okay. They stayed hidden under rocks and brush. We never saw them eat so we went back to researching.
Day 6 of lizards and they are alive and well! They’ve taken a liking to the new heat lamp and have been scuttling around there all day. I even saw one eat a cricket!
Even the smallest of the bunch was enjoying himself in the warmth 🙂
I will continue to take care of them until it comes time to release them back to their natural habitat. I’ll keep you all updated. It’s such a strange and wonderful learning experience 🙂
Update: At least 4 of them are now 100% confirmed to be eating and hunting.
They grow up so fast ;-;
BABY FIVE-LINED SKINKS!!!! Awe look at these good babies!!!
((since u didn’t specify who’s doing the back rubbing, i’m just gonna go with tim doing the back rubbing because i can never get enough of lil brothers taking care of dickie – also, Tim in his early unconfident robin days?? yes
EDIT: just cleaned this up cos i finished it at 1 am ish))
“So much for the vaccine for fear gas,” Tim said, passing Dick a bucket. Nothing had come up yet, but there was a distinctive green-pale sheen to his brother’s face, and Tim knew better than to take unnecessary risks. There was a sound of heaving nonetheless, only a slightly better response to Tim’s muttering than Dick’s usual puns.
It took a moment, but finally the sounds dissolved into raspy breaths. Tim couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing.
Dick, for his part, closed his eyes and just focused on his breathing. It was strange to see him like this, folded in on himself in a way that didn’t reflect a yoga how-to. Hunched over, with his head resting on a forearm spread over his knees. Shaking.
Tim didn’t know what to do.
Dick was the one who was supposed to have it together. Not fourteen year old Tim Drake who still wasn’t sure if he should be Robin.
But Dick was also always the one trying to build his confidence and support him, and Tim couldn’t fail him now, not after all they’d been through together. And definitely not after all that Dick had done for him. Years of inspiration, of hope, for Tim along with the rest of Gotham. Who would he be if he let the original Robin down?
Tim took a breath, counted to five in his head. Tried to remember what sick people liked hearing, what scared people liked hearing. He gulped. “Are, uh. Are you feeling any better?”
Dick gave a moan of discontent, and Tim knew he wasn’t doing as good a job as Dick deserved.
Though touch had never been a part of Tim’s life growing up, he knew it had been for Dick. More than that, he knew what Dick usually tried to give Tim when he was going through a hard time.
After a moment’s deliberation, and no verbal response from his would-be big brother, Tim went for it. He put a hand on Dick’s back, feeling the tense muscles jump under his fingertips.
“Hey, um, easy does it,” Tim said. “I don’t know what this fear gas is mixed with to be making you feel so sick on top of the, uh, fear part of it, but you’re gonna be alright.”
Dick made another attempt at speech; this time, he got a lot further than before. “H’rts,” he said, voice thick and slow. “Hurts, Tim.”
“I know, Dick, I know it hurts, we’re working on it, it’ll be done soon.” He bit his lip. He definitely didn’t know how it felt, and he didn’t know how long it’d take for Batman to configure a cure. Was lying okay here? He felt like Dick would be able to tell, but he didn’t want to discourage him or make him feel worse. After a moment’s second-guessing, he finally just said, “Try to relax, being this tense won’t help anything.”
“Can’t relax,” Dick managed, shifting his face so his cheek, more than his forehead, rested on his forearm. “Can’t focus.”
Tim made a mental note of that. But one problem at a time. Training, he remembered. He could only give his full attention to one thing at any given moment. Right now, it was just trying to get him to calm. “Close your eyes, you don’t need to focus,” he said. Once he saw that Dick’s eyes were shut, he gently started rubbing his hand in a circular motion. “There. Now, uh,” he started, faltering just for a moment. “Now just… try to take your head away, okay? Just relax.”
Because that was the way to do it, right, just saying to calm down really helped, right? Tim mentally swore; he hadn’t had half the experience comforting people that he should’ve had prior to this.
And yet, Dick still looked a bit better.
Tim kept rubbing his back, murmuring some of the things Mrs Mac used to say when he was sick, and things he used to see on TV shows. Things like, “’It’s alright,” and, “you’re going to be just fine.”
He felt like it wasn’t much – but it meant the world to him when Dick finally started to calm down. Because, eventually, he could feel the tense muscles relax under his fingertips, and Dick’s breathing evened from the hyperventilating he’d been doing, and he finally, finally stopped shaking.
Tim had never thought he could feel so proud of something like this, but…
To know that he could be there for the person who’d brought so much hope to his own life, the person who’d given hope to all of Gotham – to the Batman – he felt just a bit brighter himself.
kiragecko 