I’ve been pretty okay with fandom’s belief that Tim is kind of a jerk to girls. It’s good for a character to have failings, and the idea that he has some ingrained sexism fits canon pretty well. But I was comparing myself to him idly today, which is a thing I do, and thought of something else that explains his canon actions shockingly well.
Tim being asexual.
I know the idea gets thrown around every so often. It’s nothing new. I just want to point out some of the cool parallels I saw.
Tim automatically thinking about a romantic relationship with every girl he meets. I know that seems counterintuitive to him being asexual. When I was a teen, though, I had no clue what sexual attraction could possibly feel like. Every time I enjoyed interacting with I guy, I examined my feeling to see if maybe I was interested. Several times I thought I might be, but decided to not pursue the relationship because I didn’t feel ready.
I was not, in fact, attracted to those boys. I’m pretty sure all I felt was mild friendship (I didn’t have many friends). I actually worried because the person I was most “attracted” to was my cousin!
It was easy for me to just ignore romance most of the time, because my religious beliefs suggested I not pursue relationships until I was ready for marriage, which I definitely wasn’t as a teen. I can easily see Tim, a generally lonely kid hungry for relationships, mistaking liking someone as loving them.
Tim dating multiple people at once. Steph and Arianna. Jubilee and Steph (probably not canon). Flirting with Tam and the Chinese Mob/Undercover lady with the animal name. If he was like me, and didn’t really get romance and love, it would be easy to slip accidentally into another friendship/romance with someone because multiple friends is normal. And even though he thought of it as dating, that was only a surface level belief.
Tim and Kon. Arguably, Tim’s closest relationship is either with Kon or Dick. A lot of people have interpreted his relationship with Kon as romantic, and it definitely reads similarly to how he is with Steph. But I think that’s because NEITHER relationship is particularly romantic. Really, the only difference is that one is with a GIRL, who Tim has been taught that guys date, and the other is with a boy, who guys don’t.
Tim and Cassie. One of his major platonic female relationships is with Cassie, possibly explained by her obvious interest in someone else for most of their relationship. Like, I’m not saying that Tim isn’t capable of platonic female relationships. It’s quite possible that those would be easier for him. He’s just internalized the idea that he’s supposed to be attracted to women, and so maybe tries to act the part? Just think about how he acts when he’s mourning Steph, Kon, and everyone else. He seeks comfort from Cassie, who’s one of his few friends left. And he partially does that by starting their weird, terribly unhealthy, attempt at romance. Like, he needs closeness and support, but she’s a GIRL and if you like or want to be with a girl then you must be in love. But they really, really aren’t.
I dunno, you guys. I was just thinking about how he acted around Tam, which was so – just so wrong for the emotional state he was in. Like I’ve read all the meta, and I agreed with it, but it’s always been the sort of agreement where I’m sure the other people are right because they actually know how this stuff feels. Most of how Tim’s been written acting made SENSE to me, seemed natural responses. And it sort of clicked, suddenly. What if the reason his actions made sense was because Tim thought the same way I did?