Sometimes I don’t. There are some days when I don’t get out of bed, can’t open my inbox, can’t read one more news story, can’t take one more step.
On those days I let myself feel it. The agony of knowing. The anger, the fear, the sense of failure, the weight on my shoulders. I let myself cry over old heartbreak and new hurts. I let myself rage and gnash my teeth. I feel it all. And then I make sure to come back.
I make myself tea. I read a story in which things change for the better and so do people. I watch something with a hopeful ending. I pet my cat. I read messages of thanks and encouragement from people whose lives I’ve touched. I go find examples of people doing good, and I remind myself about what Gandalf told Frodo, that there are forces besides the will of evil at work in the world.
This is what works for me. Some people need to keep moving steadily forward or suffocate. Some people hibernate and come back rested. Some people find strength in community, give and receive energy. Some people do what I do and give themselves time to feel it. And then we get back to it.
When we encounter a person or situation, confront it, we leave it changed. I don’t think any effort is ever for nothing. Our words can be seeds or a pebble in a shoe. We can be a signpost pointing to a path that was previously unseen. Even if someone doesn’t turn down that path, they know it’s there. One day they may return to it. The most important thing to remember is that the stories we pop in and out of will go on and span out far beyond us and that what you started will likely be finished by someone else.
And some people are just awful. Ignorant, callous, cruel. Some stories are too big and too established for us alone to change. But there’s power and value in standing up to those ones, too, and a chance that, in time, many could succeed where one failed. That’s when it’s heartening to have fellow activists backing you up. To remember that your words are a small, incredibly valuable contribution to the collective effort that changes the world.
You are not alone. Reach out, if you can, and you’ll hear how very many people feel just the same way. I find that comforting, myself. We’re not alone in this. It’s not all on me. It’s not all on you.
Tag: ableism
autism psa pt 2 lol
having done some more reading I have been made aware of other conditions that also qualify as neurodiverse, such as ADHD, dyslexia, epilepsy, or any other neurological condition
However, as mental illnesses are psychological rather than neurological disorders, they wouldn’t come under the term neurodiverse
https://www.healthline.com/health/neurotypical
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-neurotypical-260047
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/neurotypical
https://www.quora.com/Whats-a-neurotypical-person
I’ve included a few links as references ! Anyway to conclude neurotypical is for people that don’t have a neurological, intellectual, or developmental condition, not for those without mental illnesses. It’s only been used as that since 2011, but was originally coined for those with neurological conditions
civil debate is welcome but if you start attacking anyone personally you’re getting blocked 🙂
Kay, I replied rather shortly instead of a reblog, but then you responded, sos I thinks a discussions is possible. Is sorry I was short.
Yes, gatekeeping is always bad.
Is exccluding peoples that needs the same helps that “born this way” needs. Just because they got neurodivergent later in life doesn’t mean they is still “neurotypical” NOW. Their brains is now working different from what the standard brains works. They is divergent.Excluding them does not help them. Does not help us to exclude them from our community.
I doesn’t see how gatekeeping can be useful to us or them.
We all need society to accept us as we are.
Some can get helps through meds and therapy to get to appear more neurotypical, but in the process they is still suffering the same stigmas and abuse and ostracism that those of us “born this way” get.I don’t understand your reason for excluding them from the community.
(peoples what wants to understand this commentary can sees the replies)
I’m not trying to exclude them or stop them from getting help? I’m just saying that they aren’t neurodivergent because they don’t have any neurological conditions?
People with mental illness are no less deserving of help than those with neurological conditions – the only difference is they aren’t neurodivergent?? that’s literally all I’m saying
But that isn’t true. Mental illness IS a neurodivergent condition. By definition. Their brain is not operating in the typical fashion – therefore is divergent.
What is the reason for excluding them from the community?I respectfully disagree. Someone who is severely depressed cannot be neurotypical, as they do not react to stimuli and situations in a neurotypical way. Many depressed people have memory issues due to the brain not functioning correctly.
Bipolar disorder is another one that completely changes the way your brain functions, but you could be born neurotypical and become bipolar later.
Yes, ADHD and autism are neurodivergences that you are born with, but being born neurotypical doesn’t guarantee you will stay that way.
Another example is dementia or alzheimers. I would definitely consider them neuro divergent even if it’s also technically a “mental health” issue, since it’s in the brain and affects personality, thoughts etc..
Um – that is what is what I is saiding? How is that a disgree?
I actually mostly agree with @otterlymorgana.
I’ve got ADHD and an Anxiety Disorder. The ADHD is me, the anxiety is something I have.
I find it helpful to use ‘neurodivergent’ to describe things are integral to people – that we wouldn’t get rid of because then we woudn’t be us. I might take medication to manage symptoms, but I can’t imagine not having ADHD.
Anxiety is a mental illness, and I totally want to get rid of it.
On the other hand, I would never say someone with a mental illness isn’t allowed to call themselves neurodivergent.
My definition of neurodiversity doesn’t include mental illness. But if it helps someone to consider themself neurodivergent, that’s great. Helping people is way more important than rules and definitions.
Conclusion: I think mental illness and neurodivergency are different. I think it’s important to separate things that are part of us, and things that can change, especially since people are always trying to ‘fix’ us.
But my opinion isn’t as important as helping people. So if a ‘neurodivergent’ label helps someone, they can use it.
So I feel like schizophrenia is sitting here in the middle of this conversation like a big baleful statue of an elephant?
We don’t know exactly how it works, although we’ve made a lot of progress, but it definitely runs in genetic lineages, and tends to be comorbid with other neurological conditions, and it is primarily a product of brain function, not emotional history or what have you, even if trauma is not infrequently involved in triggering symptoms. It’s a case of being neurodiverse even by the most reductive definitions.
It is also most certainly a ‘mental illness.’ The archetypical one, even. Even though there are some schizophrenic people who would rather not be treated for their own reasons, generally the condition is incapacitating and unwelcome.
And it doesn’t go away just because it’s being treated and causing you fewer difficulties. It’s there. It’s part of how you exist. You have the right to be okay with that. You have the right to want other people to be okay with that.
Attempting to define mental health conditions out of the ‘neurodivergent’ umbrella on the basis that it should only apply to things people are born with and that you feel are legitimately positive parts of an identity, not illnesses, kind of undermines what I understand the essential point of the term to be. Which is to make progress toward depathologizing the whole concept of diversions from the mental norm, and reducing the harmful associated social stigma.
Undermines that in favor of reducing the risk of getting mental illness stigma all over you in the short term, by defining the inconvenient people out of the community you want to be in.
So, it’s also ableist as fuck. Which might be why the pushback.
So, this is definitely not the first time I said something dumb without knowing enough about the topic, or thinking it through. Sorry.
Definitely forgot about community and belonging. Was just thinking about labels and organizing my own experiences.
Yeah. I’m really sorry.
Hi, hope you’re having a good day! What do I do if I was diagnosed with autism, but my parents say that I no longer have it because I was “cured by God”. I find it all so strange and it makes me wonder if I ever had autism in the first place
Oh gosh. This ask is great in so many ways. Thank you for sending it.
I can understand why your parents might believe that, and I can understand how that might cause some confusion for you. So let’s start with what autism actually is.
Autism is a pervasive developmental delay that you are born with and never goes away. The key here is that it is a delay.
In some people that means that some aspects of typical development never, ever happen. In other people it means that their development is a little bit behind, but not very much. In other people it can be very far behind, and then very quickly and without warning catch up.
I know of autistics that were 100% non-verbal and then started talking in their teens or their twenties, for example.
Autism also has some traits that are very obvious and some that are not so obvious.
For example, if you potty trained as a toddler and then several months later regressed and couldn’t use the restroom any more, it is going to be very obvious to your parents – especially if it takes years for you to learn how to use it again.
But some traits like hypersensitivities to light or sound, or the anxiety of social interaction – those are things that you feel that others can’t see.
Now let’s look at it from your parent’s perspective. Clearly they are devout believers. To them, God is someone who can work miracles. Now let’s pretend that you are that autistic that regressed… and then somewhere around seven or eight years old you suddenly catch up on the things like potty training.
To your parents it is going to look like all your autism traits suddenly vanished, and as devout believers it might even look like the sort of miracle that God would work.
And if your parents do not have a very good understanding of what autism is? Well, that might just make it seem more like a miracle because they wouldn’t even really know what to look for when it came to autism.
Now, obviously I just made some traits up to make an example. But I am guessing that if you were to sit down with a psychologist today and get an autism evaluation, you would still be diagnosed.
They would look at things like obvious autistic traits going away as developmental delays – but they were still there. And they would probably see more autistic traits that your parents don’t know are autistic.
So, are you autistic? I would say yes for two reasons. 1.) You are diagnosed with autism and 2.) as a general rule God doesn’t work like that.
I think the Christian God has made it pretty clear He would rather His followers accept disabled people as they are, and my personal opinion is that His followers that don’t recognize this might consider a little more time in contemplative prayer and maybe ask God what it means that love is Holy.
I don’t mean to speak negatively of your parents; they believe what they believe and I can’t change that. But I do think they aren’t really understanding His message when it comes to marginalized people.
In any event, I would call you autistic (or, if you prefer, a person with autism). That doesn’t mean you have to identify with the autistic community or the neurodiversity movement, or anything like that. But you have an autism diagnosis and unless you have a specific medical reason to believe the diagnosis is wrong, then it is probably right.
As for your parents… I don’t think there is anything you can do. Faith is a hard thing to change. If you can, I would just ignore it. If you think you can’t, then I would talk to their pastor. If they don’t have one, I can help you find someone to talk in your area that could help figure out how to talk to your parents on their terms.
Final note; though my pastor is Christian, I am not. My understanding of Christianity is through her, not based on my own experiences. If you want to talk more about the theology, there are Christian autistics that follow me, most of whom could probably do a better job of explaining that aspect than I can.
Hey! I’m a Christian with an Autistic family, and I have ADD, which is related to Autism. If you want to talk about your confusion with someone who shares your beliefs and has some of the same experiences, I’m open to talking.
Message me or send me an ask!
able-bodied people don’t seem to realise the nuances of disability, they look at it as such a black and white issue when it’s really not. like, i don’t need a wheelchair in the sense that i can’t physically use my legs and i don’t need a walking stick in the sense that i would fall over without one. but i do need a wheelchair in the sense that it could make the difference between my being bed-bound for a day and being bed-bound for a week and i do need a walking stick in the sense that using one today might enable me to do more tomorrow. disability and chronic illness aren’t black and white; using things out of necessity can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people.
All this goes for most other disabilities too. For example, many people don’t realize that many deaf people have at least a little hearing. And many blind people have at least a little vision. And so forth.
So if you’re deaf enough that you cannot understand speech just by listening alone (because there is too much of the sound missing) then you most likely really NEED captions to have any chance of understanding anything said in a video, TV program, movie, etc.
If you have enough hearing to hear SOME speech, well, hearing 10 percent of what is said still won’t help enough to do without captions. (Some of us might hear vowels without really hearing consonants, or may hear only certain consonants and not others, because some speech sounds are higher pitched than other speech sounds. For example, “s”, “sh”, “ch” are all higher in pitch than “m”, “n” or any of the vowels, etc. Some of us may hear lower pitch sounds better than high pitch sounds. So, yes, many of us hear SOME speech but not enough to understand.)
But suppose you are not deaf, but only hard of hearing, i.e. only a mild hearing loss? So that you can understand most speech by listening alone, without needing visual input? Well, if you’re hard of hearing (and not hearing) then you need completely PERFECT listening circumstances (everyone is speaking clearly, there is no background noise to distract you, etc.) because even minor problems that would only annoy a hearing person can completely disrupt your understanding speech. And even in absolutely perfect listening conditions, a hard of hearing person still needs to invest a LOT more concentration and physical energy into listening. That can make it harder to really process the content of what is being said simply because there’s no bandwidth left over after all that listening.
This is bad if you’re trying to learn really complicated new ideas because then you need to both listen AND do a lot of thinking simultaneously. It’s also harder to really relax and enjoy a movie if you have to work so hard just to understand. So all of this is why even people who can still understand most speech most of the time may still NEED captions.
This is so, so important for blindness and white canes, too. This concept applies so broadly to all of us.
Because you know what? I went 16 years without a cane.
The first 16 straight years of my life were spent without even the shortest singular lesson on using a cane and my vision was no better then than it is now. And you know, I survived. I never broke any bones or had a catastrophic fall down the school stairwell or got hit by a car, and if I wanted to go somewhere without my cane now I could probably live, if it was somewhere familiar and during the day and the weather was just right. I could probably make it to my school and back without any major issues and I would get home in one piece.
But you know what else? During those first 16 years I was terrified. Not actively shaking and consciously thinking about how afraid I was, but it was there, every time I avoided going somewhere new or going out at night or when I stared down at the sidewalk while walking down the street and wondered if people thought I was depressed about something. I didn’t explore, I didn’t try new things, I didn’t feel like it would be easy to go out and check out something new to handle unexpected changes or changes in plans. I stayed inside a lot, and in order to get around somewhere new I had to take a whole day and have a teacher or a parent walk me around it first so I could do it later myself. I didn’t like new places and I didn’t like going out, because there were too many poles and staircases that blended in and broken cracks in the sidewalk and trash on the ground and children running around.
When I got training and learned how to use a cane and gather information from my ears it was life-changing. Using a cane meant the difference between being careful and cautious and avoiding new things, and being out at any hour of the day and walking confidently and comfortably and exploring my neighborhood. It meant the difference between being worried about tripping down the steps at a new place and being able to decide on a whim and I feel like going to this new place because it’s cool and I can. It meant the difference between constantly overthinking and planning my whole day around how I was going to get around and being able to just be normal and just BE without even having to think about whether I’ll be able to get around. It meant the difference between waiting two weeks for somebody to finally be free enough to give me a ride and hold my arm throughout and being able to go where I wanted, when I wanted, without inconvenience to myself or others. It meant the difference between sheltering myself and being actually free.
So yes. I suppose you could try to argue that maybe a cane is not an absolute necessity for me to exist and do the absolute bare minimum, but you would be wrong, because life isn’t just about the absolute bare minimum. Thousands of blind people have this exact same journey with canes and realizing the difference it makes, blind people ranging from those who are completely blind to people who just barely crossed the threshold into legal blindness. So yes, I don’t need a cane in the sense that I am completely blind and entirely unable to do anything without it, but I absolutely need my cane in the sense that most of us do, the sense that that came makes the difference between a stressful experience that was avoided until it couldn’t be and an incredibly comfortable experience that allowed me to do way more, travel way farther, and get a whole shit ton more out of it.
Disability is never a black and white thing, and both abled and other disabled people alike would do well to remember that. and
BARBARA GORDON SHOULD BE ORACLE AGAIN THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK
Barbara Gordon should be Oracle again but only if the killing joke is updated to give barbara agency as a fully developed character that willingly throws herself into danger and not as a side effect of a fued between a mad man and man in a fursuit
^^^^^^ an important addition
I think it’s important for Barbara to be a side effect in a feud between men. Her treatment in The Killing Joke was appalling, but it’s exactly that treatment that led Kim Yale and John Ostrander to create Oracle.
I understand the negative feelings towards The Killing Joke, and they are totally founded, but the way I see it, it’s extremely important that Barbara was shot not because of herself, but because of her role in the lives of men.
Unfortunately, women are caught in the middle of male feuds all too much in real life, and having a female fictional character that is not seen as her full self while she actually is one is very important representation.
Barbara was a mere side effect in The Killing Joke, which was written and edited by men that only cared about the male characters, but her fullness as a character was established when her story as a casualty was transformed into the story of a protagonist that had always had agency, even when it wasn’t shown or acknowledged by others. And this is why Barbara willingly throws herself into danger once more when she becomes Oracle despite all the difficulties that come with her paralysis. When it seemed like she had no agency, she shows everyone she is even more powerful after she was treated as a supporting character in someone else’s life.
The Killing Joke shouldn’t be updated because it is the testimony of the carelessness with which so many female characters were treated in the stories of male protagonists. Because it is very much real to this day. However, women can take hold of their lives even after they are mistreated so. Barbara was put in control of her own life once more. By a woman (and her husband but, if I’m not mistaken, John Ostrander has acknowledged that Oracle was Kim Yale’s idea).
The Killing Joke’s problematic narrative shouldn’t be changed, but I believe it would be something very fruitful if it were now published with The Suicide Squad and The Batman Chronicles’ issues that tell Barbara’s road of recovery and renewal that culminate in her creation of her new identity of Oracle.
The fact that Barbara wasn’t shot in the line of duty doesn’t diminishes her agency and willingness to put herself in danger for the sake of others when she becomes Oracle. It actually magnifies it. Despite being treated as a supporting character in someone else’s life and a casualty in someone else’s story, she acted out of her own will to show the world that she wouldn’t be just a supporting character and a casualty, but the protagonist of her own story.
#‘it is the testimony of the carelessness with which so many female characters were treated in the stories of male protagonists’
#yeah i def understand why people wanna see tkj erased but i think its important to remember that babs getting paralyzed wasnt done so
#she could BE oracle – that was later and done by people who actually cared about her as a character
#which is part of what makes oracle so powerful #the literal personification of kicking the fridging trope to the curb #barbara gordon meta^^^^^^ !!!!!I love all this fuckin discussion lads
This is only tangentially on topic, so feel free to reblog without my addition:
Another really important decision writers made with Babs was how Cass became Batgirl.
During No-Man’s-Land, we see Babs’ anger at someone taking her Batgirl identity. (The fact that Helena is clearly taking Bruce’s identity, not Babs’, is a discussion for another time.) We ALSO see her relationship with Cass grow. We see Cass save Babs’ dad, by deliberately throwing herself in the way of a bullet. Possibly as a thematic parallel to Babs losing the costume?
Finally, we see Babs decide to share her legacy HER way. She deliberately gives Cass a version of Helena’s costume. (Always remember that Babs is petty.) She names, trains, and guides Cass. She fights with Bruce to be Cass’s guiding force.
That’s one of the reason that I love the Batgirl legacy.
“Can’t” isn’t always “cannot under any circumstance,” often it’s “cannot without causing myself harm” or “cannot without experiencing too much pain or discomfort.”
When a disabled person tells you they can’t do something, don’t question them. Trust me, we get sick of not being able to do things, too.
“Can’t” isn’t always “cannot under any circumstance,” often it’s “cannot without causing myself harm” or “cannot without experiencing too much pain or discomfort.”
I just cannot stress enough how true this is. Pass it on. Shout it from the rooftops.
Or “It is physically possible, but will leave me stuck in bed for three days to recover”
I can physically put wheat in my mouth and eat it, but the migraine and vomiting aren’t worth it.
I can, in an emergency, function quite well. When the adrenaline stops, I don’t get back up again for a couple days. Unfortunately, without the adrenaline, I get incredibly dizzy, so building stamina isn’t likely right now.
And I can muster the executive function to do The Thing… but there’s probably other Things that get left by the wayside.
Baby can’t adult. Just doesn’t enter her head what to do. If I get hurt, though, she suddenly turns into “nurse mom” – has lots of rules about how to take care of me (correct ones, even) and does all the feedings and medicine administering and keeps people from bothering me until I am well again. Then poofs back into Baby and can’t figure out why to wear clothes and needs LOTS of sleep for a couple of days.
Motivations has strong effects but lots of cost. It hurts to override our disabilities. Just because we can sometimes doesn’t mean we aren’t disabled, it just means we has priorities.
Especially true for physical disabilities, but definitely also applies for neurodivergence and mental illness. Also: allergies; phobias; code switching and other requirements for minorities to interact with the disapproving majority; etc.
Neanderthals With Disabilities Survived Through Social Support
When the remains of this older Neanderthal were discovered at Shanidar Cave in Iraqi Kurdistan in 1957, his many physical injuries and disabilities were immediately apparent. Analysis of his skull showed that he suffered a crushing blow to the head near his eye socket when he was young, likely causing some visual impairment. His right hand and forearm were missing, the result of an amputation. He likely walked with a serious gait, and he suffered from hyperostotic disease (DISH), which is associated with muscular pain and reduced mobility along the spine.
But a new analysis of this specimen, known as Shanidar 1, shows he had another major disability—one not noticed during earlier examinations. New research published in PLOS One reveals that the bony growths found in this Neanderthal’s ear canals would have resulted in serious hearing loss. So this Paleolithic-era hunter-gatherer, according to the updated analysis conducted by anthropologists Erik Trinkaus from Washington University in St. Louis and Sébastien Villotte of the French National Centre for Scientific Research, was profoundly deaf.
Yet despite his deafness and his other physical setbacks, Shanidar 1 died between 40 and 50 years of age (based on dental analysis). By Paleolithic standards, he was an old man. The only way he could have lived to such a ripe old age is by receiving considerable help from others. “More than his loss of a forearm, bad limp and other injuries, his deafness would have made him easy prey for the ubiquitous carnivores in his environment and dependent on other members of his social group for survival,” said Trinkaus in a statement.
Trinkaus and Villotte says it’s not surprising that his fellow Neanderthals were able and willing to provide this level of social support. Profoundly, these extinct humans buried their dead, a funeral act that anthropologists say is indicative of social cohesion, social roles, and mutual support. What’s more, Neanderthals used pigments and feathers to modify their appearance, which the authors say is “a reflection of social identity manipulation and social cohesion.” To say Neanderthals cared for the physically impaired is therefore not a stretch.
Neanderthals With Disabilities Survived Through Social Support
Trigger warning: Ableism, eugenics, medical abuse.
The autistic community is boycotting the book To Siri With Love, published by HarperCollins and written by Judith Newman. Please stand with us.
#BoycottToSiri*this video is not yet captioned- if you’re able, please help out!
I just submitted captions for this video (the auto-generated captions weren’t terrible, but they weren’t great either). I don’t fully understand how YouTube works, but I believe that people have to review captions before they show up, so hopefully that’ll happen soon.
ah! Thank you *so* much!
Also you’re like, super speedy? it’s kind of amazing.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
hey
if an autistic person says that they personally want a cure for autism, dont immediately bite their head off please.
many of us have experienced hardship because of our disability and experience self loathing because of it. There is a diference between being autistic and wanting a cure because you’ve been bullied and abused your whole life and being someone who isnt autistic and constantly speaks over autistic people.
dont shame disabled people that aren’t immediately nuanced in disabilities rights and are venting
some elaboration:
like a lot of autistic children as raised and viewed as a burden. Not every autistic knows that those ads that autism speaks have are completely wrong and sometimes they still hurt. It hurts me when autism speaks says that my autism is responsible for my parents divorce eveb though its not true.
Some days being autistic leads to so much hurt and bullying that i genuinely want to be cured of my autism because i feel it would solve everything.
be empathetic of other autistics and let them speak and vent
[GIF set description: a scene from television series “Speechless”, in a school hallway two teen brothers converse, Ray is standing and JJ is sitting in his wheelchair with Kenneth, his aide, as his voice (he reads aloud as JJ laser points to words and letters on a board attached to his chair)
Ray: Are you friends with Donald Bronson?
JJ: Who?
Ray: That’s what I thought. He gave a whole speech about how you’re his hero! He said you’re the bravest guy he knows. you make him a better person…
JJ: Stupid inspiration porn!
Kenneth: What’s that?
Ray: It’s a portrayal of people with disabilities as one-dimensional saints who only exist to warm the hearts and open the minds of able-bodied people.]
kiragecko 