[Image shows a closeup of a dark coloured bottle. ‘Butterscotch’ is the only part of the name visible. The camera is focused on a part of the label saying, “Fait au Québec/Made in Canada.” Beside the “made in Quebec” is a fleur-de-lys (symbol of Quebec), and there’s a maple leaf beside the “made in Canada.”
I’d say this is realistic, although hating having specific body parts touched is more typical of hypersensitivity. What it is exactly that is bothering her with having her hair touched?
Is it the specific kind of light/brushy touch that is often used when touching hair? In that case, the same type of light touch would probably also bother her on other body parts. Is it the movement of her hair when it is touched? If so, wind moving her hair would probably be painful as well. Is it just that her scalp is particularly sensitive?
Getting her hair cut is likely to be terrible. I’m very sensitive to people touching my hair, and getting my hair cut or brushed has always been very difficult, especially when i was a child and didn’t know how to manage my senses as well as i do now. The age of your character might factor in there.
If she is old enough to do so and doesn’t particularly care about her style, the least painful way to get her hair cut would probably be to do it herself. I know that I don’t tend to set off my own sensitivities while touching myself, in the same way that if you try to tickle yourself it won’t have the same effect than if someone else did.
If someone else has to do it, it is likely to be a difficult, painful moment. She might, especially if she is young and hasn’t learned efficient coping strategies or the need to hide what she is feeling, cry, shout, struggle, try to get away, etc. She might have a meltdown or a shutdown. This is even more likely if the haircut is happening in a difficult sensory environment, such as a hairdresser’s where there are lots of bright lights, of strangers talking, of weird smells and such.
Basically, it’s up to you to choose how upsetting you want to make this scene: it could be relatively quick and painless if she cuts her own hair, difficult but manageable if a patient caregiver cuts her hair in a familiar place, or straight-up horrible in a busy hair salon.
You should also consider how the other characters will react to her reactions to the haircut, especially if they are violent. Does the hairdresser know she’s autistic? A young child crying and shouting while getting their hair cut might be typical, but a grown woman less so. Will her caregiver let her run away or will they try to restrain her (which would be abusive but could fit depending on your story)? And so on.
My brother and son both have problems with getting haircuts, which are lessened when a buzzer is used instead of scissors. I don’t want to but I’m on an issue I don’t deal with personally, but could alternate methods of cutting help a character?
Here’s something that happens to ADHD children a lot: Getting pushed beyond their limits by accident. Here’s how it works and why it’s so bad.
Child says, “I can’t do this.”
Adult (teacher or parent) does not believe it, because Adult has seen Child do things that Adult considers more difficult, and Child is too young to properly articulate why the task is difficult.
Adult decides that the problem is something other than true inability, like laziness, lack of self-confidence, stubbornness, or lack of motivation.
Adult applies motivation in the form of harsher and harsher scoldings and punishments. Child becomes horribly distressed by these punishments. Finally, the negative emotions produce a wave of adrenaline that temporarily repairs the neurotransmitter deficits caused by ADHD, and Child manages to do the task, nearly dropping from relief when it’s finally done.
The lesson Adult takes away is that Child was able to do it all along, the task was quite reasonable, and Child just wasn’t trying hard enough. Now, surely Child has mastered the task and learned the value of simply following instructions the first time.
The lessons Child takes away? Well, it varies, but it might be:
-How to do the task while in a state of extreme panic, which does NOT easily translate into doing the task when calm.
-Using emergency fight-or-flight overdrive to deal with normal daily problems is reasonable and even expected.
-It’s not acceptable to refuse tasks, no matter how difficult or potentially harmful.
-Asking for help does not result in getting useful help.
I’m now in my 30’s, trying to overcome chronic depression, and one major barrier is that, thanks to the constant unreasonable demands placed on me as a child, I never had the chance to develop actual healthy techniques for getting stuff done. At 19, I finally learned to write without panic, but I still need to rely on my adrenaline addiction for simple things like making phone calls, tidying the house, and paying bills. Sometimes, I do mean things to myself to generate the adrenaline rush, because there’s no one else around to punish me.
But hey, at least I didn’t get those terrible drugs, right? That might have had nasty side effects.
There’s a lot of overlap between ADHD traits and autism traits. Whether you meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, too, I have no idea (because I’m a random person on the Internet), but you might find ADHD resources helpful in figuring out your life challenges.
A lot of “help” for executive function skills comes from neurotypicals who are naturally good at it and lack insight into people who aren’t, which makes it spectacularly useless to the people who actually need it.
{ID – batman is covered entirely by his cape, slightly hunched over. He has no discernible facial expression. He is holding a tiny balloon and has a tiny party hat on his his. The drawing is in black and white except for the hat, which is red, white and yellow. End ID}
Personally, I see it as a compliment. Someone is volunteering to get more email in their inbox because they like what I’m writing. It makes me smile every time I notice it 🙂
That said, I don’t get notified about subscriptions, so I have to notice it.
I think I’d rate it similar to a kudos. Both tell me that you like the thing, but neither tell me why. Similar to an emoji comment like ❤ or a short comment like “this was great!”
Subscribing to me as an author is a whole other level though because that means you want to see everything I write. Or at least be told about it. Every time I get one of those I’m like “… are you sure about that?” 😀
Anyone want to share their thoughts on this one?
I like it, its exciting! However a lot of people do it on work that is finished and I want to tell them “No, honey, that one is done. Like… for ever.” Its sweet but I’m just kinda confused about those.
But on unfinished work on or my user account I find it awesome!
I get subscribed on one-shots sometimes, but 1) sometimes I forget to change the chapter thingie to show it’s not actually a one-shot and 2) there has been more than one occasion where I’ve gone back to a completed one-shot and turned it into a multi-chap
… but I recognize that I might be an outlier and perhaps shouldn’t be counted
I find it flattering if/when people subscribe to my works. And yes, I have been known to turn a one-shot into a multi-chapter story a time or two.
thank you for letting me know I’m not alone on that one 🙂
I sometimes subscribe to one shots to ease my brain/heart into accepting the story is over. Intellectually, I know it’s over, but I can’t let go of the world! Subscribing leaves me that tiny possibility, letting me say goodbye.
While subscriptions aren’t really done FOR authors, they’re still probably my highest compliment. They’re the thing I do most selectively on ao3 😉
Excellent question. I can’t say that I’ve thought about it before. I think if you’re just giving your thoughts on the fic and not demanding an update you’re probably fine?
What do the rest of you think?
I want to jump in because I literally just got this comment yesterday on a relatively short (five chapter) WIP that I haven’t touched in at least two years. It was about a rare pair, so it already didn’t receive to many comments at the time, and for someone to have apparently liked it this much and say nothing kind about it in a comment that makes me feel like they want me to feel guilty about not continuing…honestly, I’d rather they said nothing.
If you like something, tell the author. It’s really that easy. Even something less slanted like “omg but what happens next???” Would have felt more positive.
If you discover an old work that was never finished, there could be plenty of reasons for that. Maybe real life got Real. Maybe they jumped ship on the fandom. Maybe they got burned out on writing. But trying to guilt an author into coming back and writing something you want is never the right approach. Be kind. Encourage. Tell them why you like the fic, ask what happens next. Even if they don’t plan to finish, maybe they’ll tell you in the comment what was going to happen. You never know.
Anyway. Sorry to rant, but this is still really fresh.
*hugs* I’m really sorry you feel that way
from an outsider’s perspective, this comment really IS positive – or at least meant to be positive? They’ve read it 4 times. That means that they like it. And it kills them that it’s unfinished because they’re invested in the story and want to know how it ends.
I definitely get what you’re going through with this one because I react with all of the guilt etc. too when I get this sort of comment. But please take some comfort in the fact that I think they truly do enjoy it, they just don’t realize they didn’t say WHY
I don’t necessarily think they were trying to be mean/guilt you into continuing/etc, I think they were just maybe feeling a little sad and probably hadn’t thought out properly what they wanted to say. I know I sometimes will say something and then I’ll think about it afterwords and go, well that didn’t come out right. Maybe perhaps replying to them and asking them what they liked about it could help?
worth a shot? if you’re comfortable?
[image shows a comment saying, “I wish that you had kept going with this. I think I’ve read it 4 times at this point and it kills me that it was never finished. End ID.]
I add so many disclaimers when commenting on fic that ends in cliffhangers or is abandoned. I’ll say how invested I am in the story, and how much I want to know more, and then give an entire paragraph assuring the author that it’s okay they didn’t finish and I’m not asking for anything.
I can’t indicate tone in a comment. The author may have a bit of guilt that the story is undone. I’m pouring out emotion on them. It’s a volatile mix.
This is another way commenting is hard. Detangling your emotions enough to only share the ones that will encourage an author AND THEN sharing those emotions clearly through emotionless text. HARD.
I’ve rewritten a comment three times, realized it sounded rude every time, and finally given up. More than once. On stories I really liked!
“I’m just saying.” Arsenal twirled Lian around not for the first time in the last ten minutes. “I’m her father too.”
Roy sighed and continued to pick up the toys from the living room floor. “Funny, I don’t remember you being there.”
“Yeah sorry I was too busy being stuck in a freezer.” Arsenal spat at him.
“Regardless.” Roy shook his head. “You have no say in what goes on in her life.”
“Why not?” Arsenal whined.
Roy put the toys in the toy box. “Because I said so.”
“That’s not a good reason.” Arsenal reminded him, spinning around in a circle with Lian.
“Tell you what.” Roy stood up straight and put his hands on his hips. “Once you start paying child support you can have input in Lian’s life, okay?”
Arsenal thought about it for a second. “Fine, you win.”
–
Requested by Anonymous
-Rae
[first image has the text:
Imagine Arsenal making jokes about how he should have a say in what Lian does since he is technically also her father and then Red Arrow countering with something about him paying child support – imagineyoungjustice.tumblr.com
Second Image shows a shadowed room him a man perched on a high stool. He’s holding the hand of a girl who pirouettes beside him, while he plays the piano with his other hand.
I half-suspect that a big part of Batman’s enduring appeal is that nearly every possible Flanderisation of the character is funny as hell.
When most characters get boiled down to a single overriding personality trait, they just end being trite and annoying, but not Batman. I mean, we’ve got:
Compulsively Stealthy Batman
Ludicrously Overprepared Gadgeteer Batman
Standing on a Gargoyle in the Rain Monologuing About the City of Gotham Like He Kind of Wants to Have Sex With It Batman
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEAAAD Batman
The Goddamn Batman
Grumpy Dadman
Adam West
… and every last one of them is a comedy gold mine.
A kid at work has decided that they don’t want to play with the kitchen set, and don’t want to play Barbies, but would instead rather take the them-sized stove and the Barbie-sized stove and pretend that they’re mommy and baby stoves.
The baby stove is currently at stove school, which is for stoves.
The mommy stove is at work, and apparently makes soup for a living, which I know because this kid is has been chanting, “I MAKE SOUP AND I DO IT ALL DAY / EVERY SINGLE SOUP SECOND, EVERY SINGLE SOUP WAY,” louder and louder and higher and higher to the point where it’s now either being sung by the world’s loudest mouse or the world’s most out-of-breath six-year-old.
kiragecko 