heyblackrose:

yourejustanotherversionofme:

gahdamnpunk:

Why is this even a question? How is your child meant to learn to apologize when you don’t do it yourself as a parent?

This is actually a really important factor in how I establish healthy, trusting relationships with kiddos at work. I am a human and therefore make mistakes, which children will catch and call me out for, because children are information sponges with no verbal filters.

When a kid says, “but miss tommy, i thought you said we’re not supposed to do that,” I answer, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.” It could be something small, maybe a kid sees me biting my nails, or maybe I grabbed a kid by the arm who was about to collide with something solid but I grabbed too hard. Whatever it is, it’s important to

  • acknowledge the mistake,
  • apologize to the kid,
  • and verbalize a plan to correct it.

Not only does this model HOW to make an effective apology, but it establishes trust on many levels. The children who witness the exchange now know that:

  • I will be honest with them even if it does not serve my ego,
  • I care about their feelings,
  • and I am taking their needs seriously.

Apologize to your kids when you mess up! It won’t diminish your authority as their grown-up, it shows that you respect that authority!

This is one thing emotionally abusive parents are known for. Holding power over accountability and they wonder why their children don’t want to be around when they get older.

[Image shows Twitter thread starting with Straits Times Life, @ST_LifeTweets, titled, “Should parents say sorry to their kids?,” with a link to an article. Nauseous Angel, @SirAfiqah, responds, “Uuuh. YES?,” and goes on to discuss reasons why.

End ID.]

I have low self-esteem, so even though I agree, I have to be careful about this.

I am my children’s anchor, and I’ve noticed that they get anxious if I apologize too much. They want me to be right, and know what I’m doing.

I also need to avoid putting myself down when I apologize, or I model low self-esteem, rather than respect.

I know a lot of people probably have the opposite problem. The last generation was taught to not show weakness too children, and many adults now need to unlearn that. But moderation in all things.

oh-mother-of-darkness:

Cass sat on the rafters while Dick and Tim chattered beneath her. They hadn’t noticed her come in, so she sat by herself, swinging her boots back and forth in the emptiness, following along. Dick sat on a fraying couch while Tim bounced around him, telling a story about chasing a gunman by the docks. He paced around the room and ducked behind the furniture to demonstrate, laughing the entire time. 

There were words too, of course. Cass could hear them just fine, even if she didn’t recognize them. She tried closing her eyes, listening carefully, but Tim talked too fast, and there were too many words, and she could hear him moving around, anyway: across the room, behind the couch, springing over it to mime surprising the gunman. The movement alone told her everything she needed to know. 

It was… Cass didn’t know the word to describe it, but it felt like being lost in the alleyways that spanned the city, turning the same corners over and over again without moving any further. It was black and heavy, and it made her body ache. 

Dick didn’t laugh like that with her. No one did. No one sat with her or leaned towards her or even brushed by her in tight spaces. Tim’s eyes followed her around rooms, and Cass knew it wasn’t malicious. She moved too silently, and she startled him often. It didn’t happen if he knew where she was. 

Still. He didn’t watch the others. It didn’t matter that Bruce was quiet too. 

Keep reading

Too good.

Amazing.

Like necessary

pain. A beautiful dance about a hard subject. The most beautiful knife

you’ve ever seen, but

you have a mild phobia about sharp

objects.

Communicating colours using black and white – a new app with a new perspective on language evolution

allthingslinguistic:

superlinguo:

Can you use a string of black and white symbols to communicate colour? This is the premise behind the Color Game app, in which users create and solve puzzles matching colours to non-coloured symbols.

I’ve been enjoying coming up with ways to represent different colours for other players to decode, and also playing through puzzles created by others. Because humans are wonderfully clever and good at communicating, players often do better than chance at the puzzles.

Other than being entertaining, this app is also helping researchers better understand how language evolves. It was designed by Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for the Science of Human History, who will use the anonymous data gathered from the game to understand how the players create an ever-changing symbolic vocabulary.

From the app’s press release:

Difficult as this may sound, players are able to reach the correct result more often than would occur by chance. Players also get better at it, as once-neutral symbols acquire meanings that they lacked at the start of the game. Players are creating a language together, in the very act of using it.

The Color Game Website, including links to download the app for Android and iOS: www.colorgame.net

see also:

This game is dangerously fun and I have been playing it ever since I found out about it from this post a couple days ago. 

Hi, hope you’re having a good day! What do I do if I was diagnosed with autism, but my parents say that I no longer have it because I was “cured by God”. I find it all so strange and it makes me wonder if I ever had autism in the first place

candidlyautistic:

Oh gosh. This ask is great in so many ways. Thank you for sending it.

I can understand why your parents might believe that, and I can understand how that might cause some confusion for you. So let’s start with what autism actually is.

Autism is a pervasive developmental delay that you are born with and never goes away. The key here is that it is a delay.

In some people that means that some aspects of typical development never, ever happen. In other people it means that their development is a little bit behind, but not very much. In other people it can be very far behind, and then very quickly and without warning catch up.

I know of autistics that were 100% non-verbal and then started talking in their teens or their twenties, for example.

Autism also has some traits that are very obvious and some that are not so obvious.

For example, if you potty trained as a toddler and then several months later regressed and couldn’t use the restroom any more, it is going to be very obvious to your parents – especially if it takes years for you to learn how to use it again.

But some traits like hypersensitivities to light or sound, or the anxiety of social interaction – those are things that you feel that others can’t see.

Now let’s look at it from your parent’s perspective. Clearly they are devout believers. To them, God is someone who can work miracles. Now let’s pretend that you are that autistic that regressed… and then somewhere around seven or eight years old you suddenly catch up on the things like potty training.

To your parents it is going to look like all your autism traits suddenly vanished, and as devout believers it might even look like the sort of miracle that God would work.

And if your parents do not have a very good understanding of what autism is? Well, that might just make it seem more like a miracle because they wouldn’t even really know what to look for when it came to autism.

Now, obviously I just made some traits up to make an example. But I am guessing that if you were to sit down with a psychologist today and get an autism evaluation, you would still be diagnosed.

They would look at things like obvious autistic traits going away as developmental delays – but they were still there. And they would probably see more autistic traits that your parents don’t know are autistic.

So, are you autistic? I would say yes for two reasons. 1.) You are diagnosed with autism and 2.) as a general rule God doesn’t work like that.

I think the Christian God has made it pretty clear He would rather His followers accept disabled people as they are, and my personal opinion is that His followers that don’t recognize this might consider a little more time in contemplative prayer and maybe ask God what it means that love is Holy.

I don’t mean to speak negatively of your parents; they believe what they believe and I can’t change that. But I do think they aren’t really understanding His message when it comes to marginalized people. 

In any event, I would call you autistic (or, if you prefer, a person with autism). That doesn’t mean you have to identify with the autistic community or the neurodiversity movement, or anything like that. But you have an autism diagnosis and unless you have a specific medical reason to believe the diagnosis is wrong, then it is probably right.

As for your parents… I don’t think there is anything you can do. Faith is a hard thing to change. If you can, I would just ignore it. If you think you can’t, then I would talk to their pastor. If they don’t have one, I can help you find someone to talk in your area that could help figure out how to talk to your parents on their terms.

Final note; though my pastor is Christian, I am not. My understanding of Christianity is through her, not based on my own experiences. If you want to talk more about the theology, there are Christian autistics that follow me, most of whom could probably do a better job of explaining that aspect than I can.

Hey! I’m a Christian with an Autistic family, and I have ADD, which is related to Autism. If you want to talk about your confusion with someone who shares your beliefs and has some of the same experiences, I’m open to talking.

Message me or send me an ask!

angel-gidget:

jasonkord:

super important (i swear) survey for young justice (1998) fans- after you finished yj, did you pick up Teen Titans v.3? If so, did you like it?

I had complaints, but liked it enough to keep reading

Likes:

– Tim and Kon cementing their bff-hood

– Kon and Cassie finally giving dating a shot

– picking up right where graduation day left off

– the choice of roster.

– the tensions and protectiveness between the younger YJ-ers and older titans

– plot. SB being half Luthor, retrieving Raven from brother blood, titans of tomorrow, etc

Dislikes:

– Kon losing his name

– Bart’s speech to Cassie

(the fact that both of these things made it seem like Geoff had barely picked up so much as an issue of Superboy or YJ)

– the art (McKone’s grown on me, but his fluidity of figure in those books along with Kon’s horrid haircut was driving me crazy.)

Edit: I was of two minds about the direction with Bart. On the one hand, I liked he basic idea of having a bart who wanted to be taken more seriously as he was getting older, and so decided to use his eidetic memory.

But on the other, I don’t think this was handled with enough respect for the kid he was. And we’re back to the idea that I don’t think Johns had read hardly any issues of Impulse either.

I liked early Teen Titans. 

It’s a very different tone. Melodrama instead of comedy. Lots of teen emotions, but not super annoying drama. Relationship building is done very well.

Bart changing his name bothered me, because I didn’t want him to grow up, but it was well done. The non-legacy YJ characters are never mentioned again. That makes me mad. Also, later in the series, the murders start, and a character dies almost every issue. UGH.

But the friendships really shine. When main characters leave, there’s fallout and characters say goodbye. I love 90s Kon, but the young man he grows into through Teen Titans is really amazing. Whenever Tim is able to support Cassie in her leadership role, it’s AMAZING.

tl;dr: Murder time is bad, the rest is good melodrama.

Tim Drake and appreciated

audreycritter:

The apartment was quiet and dark when Tim threw his keys into the little porcelain dish on the entry table and toed off his shoes, tugging one heel off at a time, to leave them in a jumble of worn canvas and laces on the mat. He frowned at the smell wafting from his living room– the lights were off but it smelled like…spices? 

He set his work bag down with intentional silence, and tiptoed toward the living room with his fists ready to fight. Tim nearly screamed loud enough for Kon to hear him, states over, when he flicked on the light and saw Bruce sitting on the couch. Bruce looked taken aback, but Tim wasn’t even used to Bruce still being alive again yet, much less on his couch in the dark at the end of a work day. Tim doubled over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 

“I thought you were an assassin,” Tim wheezed, when Bruce rose to his feet in alarm and crossed the distance between them. A firm hand on his arm got him standing again and Bruce pulled him into a hug while Tim’s heart thudded wildly. The hug was solid and warm and alive, and Tim calmed down while Bruce’s fingers rubbed a circle between his bony shoulder blades. 

“I got food from that Jamaican place you like,” Bruce rumbled in reply. “I appreciate how much work you’re doing, but Alfred mentioned that you’re doing too much, and I think he might be right.” 

“Hnn,” Tim said, a little high-pitched from adrenaline still. It was tapering off, though, because the hug– which was still happening– was really, really nice. “I’m letting the hypocrisy of that slide because you brought coconut rice. Maybe next time turn on the light.”

stitch-n-time:

garrettauthor:

stitch-n-time:

bardmutual:

why have we stopped wearing cloaks and capes. this is ridiculous. the human race is a failure

@garrettauthor – Do you want an actual answer? I have one.

I know it’s something along the lines of “Jackets and coats are just more efficient/better at the same job.” But, I would absolutely love an in-depth explanation.

LONG POST IS LONG

Well… Yes and no. It actually has more to do with mode of
transportation and what is expected of an individual than efficiency.

Keep reading